♥Hold those spermies

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Submitted by Darryl on
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I've been meaning to share this bit of information with my fellow men on this site and realized I could blog it. Never done the blog thing before. I always thought "blog" was the sound you made just before you started to throwing up so I've been a tad resistant.

Anyway, what I want to share is about holding the semen in. When you are with your lover and find you just slipped over the edge, or you're spanking the monkey, about to blow your big load, instead of letting it fly you can keep that precious substance in your body by doing this technique. Simply press the spot half way between your testicles and anus with three fingers, firmly. Most of the pressure on the middle finger. You will pulse like a regular ejaculation but nothing will come out and your semen will just get reabsorbed. You should find that you feel much less depleted and your energy will come back much quicker. For those that enjoy indulging in guilt afterward you may find that the self flagellation period is less enthusiastic.

This is an old Taoist technique that I have applied over the years with excellent results and cant recommend it enough. The Taoists claimed semen was a vital potent substance for the man and was best kept inside his body except for making babies. For those that say its not good to hold it in this way, I say nonsense, I trust the ancient Taoists and have never experienced any ill effects from doing it myself.

I doubt that it will happen but it would be very interesting to see a scientific study done on this to see what happens with the brain chemistry using this technique as opposed to a full ejaculation.

I still recommend obstaining from orgasm/ejaculation all together but when you do go over the edge, intentionally or not, this is a good half way measure. Give it a try.


Like transmutation, I

Like transmutation, I couldn't get this to work for me. Unlike transmutation, now I'm not even going to try unless it just happens and then I'm not too confident this will work. Does this work for everyone? For me, the problem with both is probably technique, but maybe also intent to some extent.

From my experience age does

From my experience age does make a difference. When your a teenager into your 20's your a fountain of sperm production with very quick recuperation. As you get older things slow down. I'm 55 with a very sexually active wife. If I wasn't practicing non-orgasmic sex I'd be a mess or would be having sex much less often. When I do slip over the edge stopping the semen from leaving my body makes a real difference.

You may not notice much difference now but I think later you will.

I believe, although its somewhat a theory, that using the finger technique has another benefit. I say, when you go over the edge into an ejaculation but hold the sperm in, the pleasure/reward in the orgasm is not a strong as when you just let it go. Its like cutting the pleasure in half. For those trying to kick the PMO habit I believe stopping the semen reduces the reward circuitry to at least some extent. It would be interesting to do some experimenting to see how much this is true. When you're trying to kick an addiction anything that may help is well worth a try. If you tune in to your body it will tell you if it helps.

Might work for some. I'm

Might work for some. I'm trying to get beyond physical tricks. I understand these might have a place as a temporary stopgap, but it seems that such a practice would hold one back from going further. I think such practices keep us too focused on the physical. If we're getting overheated, we need to change the dynamic. And if one can't do that fast enough now and then, so be it.

With a partner, things like better breathing, better communication, more whole body giving, and so on make more sense to me and will keep the genitals from getting overheated. I think males can transcend orgasm to some extent as long as a partner is wiling not to pull it out of us.

I can't really comment on the reward balance much because this finger technique doesn't seem to work for me. I have orgasmed without ejaculating I don't think it was significantly different in terms of the cycle. I think once you get to that overheat level, the cycle is triggered more or less. I much prefer to avoid getting close to that point.

don't get me wrong, all of

don't get me wrong, all of the things you said are by far the way to go and a much better focus. This is just a last resort measure when you've slipped over the edge and the ejaculation is on its way. Its a technique worth having is ones bag of tricks.

Makes sense

I've always wondered about that technique. We don't use it, so have no insights about it. I've read that it may just divert the semen into the bladder, and that cloudy urine is the telltale sign. I wouldn't have thought that would stop the brain effects of climax, but now that you explain, I totally get it.

Reminds me of this guy, who was suffering from POIS (severe symptoms after orgasm):

After ejaculating I experience clouded thinking, lack of interest in
things I love (including people), fatigue, difficulties sleeping, and short
attention span. The symptoms go away slowly after a week. Seeking
relief, I took fenugreek [an herb that either encourages production
of prolactin, or imitates it]. My symptoms disappeared, but my orgasm
was not insanely intense like usual. Maybe people who experience
severe symptoms have stronger orgasms. If so, orgasm could be
compared to drugs or alcohol. The more intense the rush/high/orgasm,
the worse the recovery/low. Incidentally, I’ve gone eleven months without
ejaculating. I felt terrific!—

Spermies or ?

My partner has had a vasectomy since his early 20's, so he's kept those Spermies in check for a long time. What substance do you think is the magic ingredient? Or maybe it prevents prolactin release? Does this reduce or eliminate refractory time?

I will accept a "woo" explanation, if there's no other...



As far as I know the magic juice is the sperm since it carries the life force but I'm no expert in this area. Obviously there are other fluids involved as well. Since the point is to keep the semen inside and your man is doing this automatically I would say there isn't any benefit from the technique I mentioned.

One way to find out, if he is interested, is for him to try the technique the next time he slips over the edge and see if he notices anything. I don't think there was such a thing as vasectomies when the Taoists developed this technique.


If you pressed in the right spot right before and during the ejaculation, nothing comes out, as long as you continue to press until the pulsing stops. How could you blow your load all over the place?


[quote=Darryl] How could you blow your load all over the place?[/quote]

i dunno man but i did. i couldn't believe it either. it's been a strange life. that's all i can say.

wrong spot

you're hitting the wrong spot. I do believe that you're following the instructions, so it's not an attack on you. But this isn't a function of "well this works except I'm the exception." If i put pressure on your windpipe, you wouldn't be able to breathe. If you can put pressure on the pipe that carries your semen, you won't blow your load all over the place. Now, it may be more difficult for you to find than the common man...that i'm willing to accept. But once you find the pipe, it's not a matter of opinion...it's your tubes blocking the semen from leaving your body.

The three finger method

Is an ancient Taoist technique reputedly originating in China some 5000 years ago and is an invaluable “tool” for the man learning to control ejaculation. As Darryl has described proper application of the right amount of pressure on the man’s “magic” spot on the external prostate area of the perineum will physically block the release of seminal fluid. I experimented with this technique when I was trying to learn how to have male multiple orgasms. The first few times were a bit unsettling as it goes against the body’s natural desire to ejaculate but there probably is no better way for a man to really get in touch with how his body reacts at the point of orgasm because you can literally feel the contractions of the prostate and urethra with your fingers as it happens.
I had been doing pelvic floor exercises (Kiegels) for many years and started out by tightly contracting the pelvic floor muscles as I approached orgasm with the intention of preventing ejaculation. I found by using the three finger method I was able to gently provide the little “extra” I needed to block ejaculation when I could not hold it with pure muscle control by itself. Through this process I was able to have an orgasm without ejaculating, and because no semen was released my energy level remained high and I was able to maintain my erection and continue on – and have another orgasm within a few minutes. With much practice, and failures along the way I eventually got to the point that I no longer need to apply any finger pressure at all and was able to prevent ejaculation by tightly flexing my pelvic floor muscles. I was eventually able to translate this practice into intercourse with my lovely wife where I would have a “dry” orgasm and then continue on for some time and finish with a full “wet” ejaculatory orgasm. Since two orgasms were better than one I was VERY motivated to see how far I could take this – and since my lovely wife is easily multi-orgasmic I was looking to level the playing field. No matter how much I practiced or how many “Kiegels” I did I could never get past two orgasms. Fatigue would set in and I just could not “hold” it back. And as pleasurable as it was it was not as “satisfying” as it should have been because I was fighting my own body, very tight, and very tense.

At this time I had an epiphany and began experimenting with maintaining a relaxed state throughout. My lovely wife would provide stimulation while my “job” was to just stay relaxed and enjoy the sensations. She would “monitor” my state of relaxation by keeping her fingers on the “magic” spot on the perineum and remind me to relax when I would tense up, and conversely she could sense the impending contractions when ejaculation was imminent and stop stimulation before it was too late. Together we learned how to bring me to an extraordinarily high level of arousal and maintain this state for extended periods. The more we experimented with this the more comfortable I became even at extremely high states approaching orgasm. The key was to remain in a very relaxed state and not allow the pelvic muscles that control ejaculation to contract.

A man’s dopamine levels steadily rise from the point of initial arousal to insure he continues until the semen is released. If the release is delayed, the body instinctively increases the pleasure endorphins to add motivation to continue.

We found we were able to take advantage of my body’s reward circuitry and “trick” my body into releasing more “pleasure chemicals” than I usually received during an ejaculatory orgasm and both my wife and I found this very compelling so we expanded on it to the fullest.

We found that during extended play once a certain saturation threshold was reached a state of euphoria takes place that can be described as a “whole body experience” or “Tantric Waves of Bliss”, etc. as the ancient Taoists describe. I found these “Waves of Bliss” to be just as delicious as “burst orgasms” ever were with the advantage of lasting much longer without the negative neurochemical cascade effects of ejaculatory orgasm. The pleasure was simply mind bending and I found I wanted this more than I wanted to have an ejaculatory orgasm and this provided additional motivation to remain non-orgasmic and maintain conscious control of my “male” sex energies.

The benefits are most profound and so far I have seen no negatives in this. Like Darryl I am getting older at age 48 and also blessed with a very sexual wife. The effects of orgasm hit me particularly hard and it takes some time for me to return to “normal” afterwards. Giving up ejaculatory orgasms was the best thing I ever did for me, my wife, and our relationship. Since I became non-orgasmic my wife has taken advantage of having me always “available” and “ready” to fully explore her own sexuality and has blossomed like a flower and become incredibly vibrant, sensual and more beautiful than ever. Since my male orgasm is no longer the goal of our lovemaking we have been experimenting and engaging in much more relaxed Karrezza like sensual activities but my wife finds the combination of high energy combined with the relaxed state all but impossible to resist and is having more orgasms than ever. Right now we are looking to integrate my “Tantric Waves of Bliss” into an extended Karrezza like experience in such a way that we both receive maximum pleasure at the same time. Yes, I know that pure "Karrezza" is all about avoidance of orgasm but we no longer focus on orgasm - we focus on the "pleasure". I am not going to have an orgasm anyways and if the wife still does in the context of relaxed, non goal oriented activities - then so be it. We will see how it goes.

Did not mean to get so long winded here but the three finger method was instrumental in my developing conscious control of ejaculation (and my sexuality) and wanted to relate.

Thanks for sharing. Is the

Thanks for sharing. Is the three finger method one tool to an end or an end in of itself? I'm not persuaded that one couldn't get to the same end with the mind alone. The mind is as powerful as it gets for humans. Orgasm is in the mind anyway.

It's been mentioned here I think based on the Richardson book (tried to get the hard copy, but brick and mortar bookstores seem to have a shortage) that the woman can actively overheat the man so as to force orgasm. I question this. A women can be determined to force a male orgasm which I interpret to mean the extraction of sexual energy. However, the man can respond by giving sexual energy with his entire body and mind. That giving makes taking almost impossible. Rather than have a tug of war the man cannot ultimately win, the man can concede in a manner different from what the woman expects or can control. It's the male trojan horse at its finest once men figure out that there is a lot more to them than a penis. Obviously this all takes practice and strength of the mind and body. None of that was meant to create a sex-based power struggle. It just seemed the most direct way to say it. And of course, women could (and should) make mens' lives easier.

My understanding


It's been mentioned here I think based on the Richardson book (tried to get the hard copy, but brick and mortar bookstores seem to have a shortage) that the woman can actively overheat the man so as to force orgasm. I question this. [/quote]

Freedom, my personal understanding of what they mean by this is that a woman's orgasm *can* automatically cause a man to orgasm, whether he wants to or not (unless you are Virgil!). Not that she is forcing him, but if hers comes out of the blue, so will his.

And I have found this to be true. I never set out to have an orgasm and have gotten much better about letting the peak relax into an entire body experience, but every once in awhile one will just happen before I can stop it. During those times, my lover cannot help himself--he says these orgasms come out of nowhere for him--without the normal build-up--just poof, there it is.

One thing we have noticed is we don't have the fall-out period when these "oops, I wasn't trying" orgasms happen, so that is a good thing.

But both of us much prefer to not have one, if we can at all help it. Smile


Hi R

Before this get out of hand I just want to state I am not superhuman or the possessor of "special abilities" but I have studied Taoist philosophies for some years now and as we all know practice makes perfect - and I have engaged in lots of practice. Anyone can learn to do this as I have. I have some important motivations to remain non-orgasmic that others likely do not in the fact that orgasm effects are particularly debilitating to me as well as that my lovely wife has a sensitive "kitty" and my ejaculate upsets her delicate balance and triggers endless yeast infections - so even an "accidental" orgasm inside her would not be a good thing. So we took the hand life dealt us and made it work to our benefit. I am very fortunate my lovely wife is "on board" with maintaining my non-orgasmic state and we are both careful to operate within my human limitations. Having said that we are both seeking to maximize our intimacy and pleasure so we continue to experiment and push our boundaries seeking more out of every experience.

Ha ha~

Was just playin' with you, Virgil! My sweetie over the years (on his own, ahem) has mastered the control aspect as well and he is very good at it! (no fingers needed, either!) But since *I* have stopped trying for orgasms, he doesn't have the need for that particular technique so much...but he has used it with me over the past year quite frequently. It has been only in the last couple of months that I've decided to not "go for it" myself, so to speak. But those accidental orgasms I have slip him up terribly. He says it feels like I'm just sucking one out of him, lol. I'm determined to keep perfecting *my* technique so that our lovemaking doesn't have to come to a crashing halt.

But I completely understand how it works wonderfully for you and your beautiful wife and it's so nice to hear a happy (married) love story! I wish we had more of these stories--I just adore reading them!


Maybe it's the women who are superhuman?

Is the reason you choose to forgo orgasms is because you also get a hangover from them?

I'm certainly not free from post-orgasm effects (onset - 11 to 14 days). At this point in time, I feel 'free' from orgasm entirely. I don't have them anymore, even when my partner still has an accidental one.

Maybe they're like those men who have no "refractory period" and can have one orgasm after another.


Me, too

I decided to stop going for orgasm for a number of reasons~~first reason, since reading the Richardson books, I am learning to truly relax in lovemaking. And when you are going for an orgasm, you are tense, very tense, and only thinking ahead to that goal. I prefer to be present and in the moment instead of thinking of the future orgasm to come.

Second reason is I don't want to lose that magical, delicious feeling I have *before* an orgasm--and for me, once I have an orgasm, I'm kind of done and over it for awhile. I don't like that! I like the sensuous feelings to go on and on...I've decided those pre-orgasm feelings are 100% better than any short-lived burst of feeling I can get through an orgasm.

The last reason is because I do feel I was having a post-orgasm let-down...it's hard enough on me that I can only see my sweetheart on the weekends and I don't need additional sadness or feeling of "lack" (as Marnia describes perfectly) to make me feel worse than I do.

Oops, one more last reason, lol! It makes it easier on my lover if I do not have an orgasm (although I know he wishes I would, but he is getting better about understanding that over time). The more relaxed *I* am, the more relaxed he is. I love how we mirror each other. As long as we both stay cool, it doesn't get to the breaking point.


I love what you say here, "

I love what you say here,

" I don't want to lose that magical, delicious feeling I have *before* an orgasm--and for me, once I have an orgasm, I'm kind of done and over it for awhile. I don't like that! I like the sensuous feelings to go on and on...I've decided those pre-orgasm feelings are 100% better than any short-lived burst of feeling I can get through an orgasm."

So true, so true. Sweet heaven it is!

Hey R

Although I enjoyed every orgasm I ever had I always thought there should be more to it - there was always a letdown post orgasm and the fun was over until I had enough time to recharge my batteries.
As you have related, the most fun and greatest bliss lies in reveling in the delicious pleasure "before orgasm". Gently surfing the "waves of bliss" pre-orgasm is where it is for me - and sounds like for you as well. I am all about extending play time in this zone - and what could possibly be better than sharing this much pleasure with someone you love.

Lets face it, you women are

Lets face it, you women are all heavenly goddesses and us guys are just mere mortals. Luckily. us men just happen to have something you lovely goddesses want, *wink, wink* very fortunate for us. All we have to do is learn how to wield it properly and harmony usually ensues in the bedroom. I love adoring women!

I remember reading somewhere that man's desire to dominate women comes from a deep seated inferiortity, knowing that women naturally hold the sexual power and are the superior sex.

standing on the corner, watching all the girls walk by

[quote]I love adoring women![/quote]

Me too. I've found that the more I adore them, the more they get turned on. I have to confess that I'm feeling beat down, I remind myself that women are yearning for sincere authentic adoration as much as I want sex. Helps remind me that I wield some power in the equation too.

But yeah...women amaze me. Yum.



Us men just happen to have something you lovely goddesses want, *wink, wink* very fortunate for us.[/quote]

Indeed you do, indeed you do!! Yang...it's a good thang. lol~



[quote=Darryl]I remember reading somewhere that man's desire to dominate women comes from a deep seated inferiortity, knowing that women naturally hold the sexual power and are the superior sex.[/quote]

sounds like more freudian "analysis." the domination likely comes from nature but this popular "analysis" loves to call it domination. scary word for a hyper-sensitive era. and if it is true then the attempted 'domination' is justified and righteous. after all, if they are superior then we are the lowly underdog plebs. according to the rationale of the past two-hundred years that would put us in the right for doing so. proletarians if you will.

Hi Q

I think my wife might possibly qualify as superhuman (certainly pushing the high end of normal) as she is capable of multiple orgasms seemingly without the "hangover effects" and compared to us men you ladies are indeed "superhuman" - more capacity for sex and orgasm with less refractory "down time" and less traumatic hangover effects. Women "rule in the bedroom" so to speak. That is why us men have to resort to all these "arcane" Taoist disciplines so we can "hold up" our end of things. [bigsmile]
It certainly makes sense that women would be genetically programmed to be most receptive during the days surrounding ovulation and this kind of fits the (11 to 14 day) onset of hangover effects you and others including Marnia have described as it would align with conception. If a woman was not pregnant two weeks after the fact it would be an indicator to her that the man was not "getting the job done" and the disconnect mechanism would kick in and prompt her to move on and find another sperm donor.

Maybe I misunderstood this.

Maybe I misunderstood this. That sort of makes more sense, except how does that work? Perhaps there is another program running that instructs the male to orgasm into an orgasmic female. It still seems one could override it, but perhaps one is not aware of that enough because exposure to it is more limited.


Thanks for telling your story. I really like hearing a fellow man's journey on the road to non-orgasmic, karezza style love making. Especially that you are close to my age, as continuing to be sexually active has its challenges as one gets older. Not only still being sexually active but having the best sex of my life is simply fabulous. Sounds like its the same for you as well. So many men, and women have sexless marriages. Its sad to hear when it can and should be so alive and fulfilling. I love hearing success stories like yours and others on this site.

Hi Darryl

Yes, us "old" guys have to stick together. [ok] I have found your insight invaluable and you and Annabelle have been an inspiration to us to continue on the path. When I think back to my youth and the white hot overwhelming urge to fertilize I possessed at that time I better understand what those struggling with "porn addiction" etc are going through. At that time in my life I was literally overflowing with energy but had so little understanding of what to do with it. I have certainly "evolved" over the years and must agree with Darryl that my wife and I are having the best sex of our entire lives and as our explorations into various aspects of sacred sex including Karrezza and Tantra (and in so doing taking conscious control of our sexuality) continue it just keeps getting better. It took me some years to get in tune with what was going on in my own body and be able to "let go" and "live in the moment". Even at our age I do not think we have "peaked" yet and am looking forward to even more delicious discoveries.

For me

The three finger technique was a tool I used to gain conscious control of ejaculation. I don’t use it anymore because my control of the pelvic muscles is good enough now where I do not have to pinch off the plumbing to block the flow. My wife does however still place fingers there to monitor my state of relaxation at high levels of arousal during sex play. I do believe you could learn conscious ejaculatory control without the three finger technique but I found it helpful during the “training” stage.
As far as actively overheating to force orgasm I have found that all the “training” in this area gives me extra tools to use and my “staying power” is much increased. Yes I have limits like anyone else but they are quite high and not reached during normal sexual activities. Why would a woman want to “force” her partner to orgasm anyway? That would end all the fun!
Far from creating a tug of war this has enabled me to engage in intimate lovemaking /sex play with my very sensual and multi-orgasmic wife on a more even footing. Instead of being a “one and done” kind of guy I am now able to hang with her in the bedroom and activity time is not concluded until she has had enough. It is very empowering to know you can and do completely “rock” your wife’s world and also very empowering for her to know her man can and will provide as much activity time as is required to get the job done so she can relax into and fully enjoy the experience. We laugh about it at times because she is now the one who wants to roll over and go to sleep afterwards while I am still “raring to go” and it was the other way around when I was still having orgasms.

Great thread

and no doubt very interesting to the younger tribe members here. Wink

For their benefit, I'd just like to say that techniques where you go near The Edge of orgasm and then force yourself to hold it are a bit risky over time. I have heard stories about stressing the prostate, etc. Experimentation is fine, but in the long run it may be that moving to a relaxed approach is healthier for everyone for various reasons.

I am with

Marnia on this and would not recommend anyone forcefully stop ejaculation over a long period of time with this technique. When used as a training aid to drive improved ejaculatory awareness and control it can be a great tool that can reduce the time it takes for a man to gain conscious control. As I stated earlier once muscle control was established I abandoned the technique as it was no longer needed and found much more pleasure and satisfaction with the relaxed approach.

I just started reading

I just started reading "Tantric Sex for Men" and it says that by doing this you are creating tension and thus your genitals will hurt afterwards. I tried this a few times and I felt pain just like it said. The fact that it creates tension in the body is why I have decided to not do this anymore. It just doesn't feel right to me. By the way, I'm not knocking this technique. Also, this Tantric book is amazingly a good read.

If this technique causes

If this technique causes discomfort for you then I wouldn't use it, trust your own body For me its never caused any discomfort, only benefit. Like Marnia said, this is a every once in a while technique to have in your bag of tricks in becoming a karezza man. If its being used on a regular basis then one needs to step back and discover a better approach to being non-orgasmic.

power lock?

Is this called the power lock? I just tried it tonite for the first time ever after reading this thread last night- it got my curiosity up- I actually didn't intend to do it, but I was watching porn- I was not touching myself as I have a rule against that! But when my cock rubs against my pants sometimes it gets to be too much and i have to pull it out to avoid cumming in my pants! This time, I intuitively and improvisationally resorted to the power lock, if that's what it's called- it worked! I wasn't sure at first if it did or not- but I did not ejaculate, whereas if I hadn't done it I surely would have come- I used two hands, btw, to stop the ejaculation- I did still have something of an orgasm- the interesting thing is that after it happened I had to pee- as I was doing so I became very giddy, light headed, and had a ringing in my ears, or a sense of a kind of momentary partial deafness! It was definitely powerful! Also I felt a peculiar sensation in my solar plexus-

Tonite was the first time I watched porn since watching Gary's videos a few days ago and learning of the relationship between ED and porn viewing- I had intended therefore to not watch it anymore- but I was too tempted- it was interesting to learn how strong a pull porn therefore has over me, as I hadn't necessarily considered myself to be an addict- well, this is all the more reason for me now to find myself a three-dimensional girlfriend because porn is not satisfying anyway!

According to some,

it is possible to divert your semen into your bladder with such forceful techniques. Some men say they can tell this has happened by the fact that their urine is cloudy.

If you want to experiment with forceful techniques (not recommended as a steady diet, but perhaps interesting as the occasional experiment), you may want to read "Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy." It's full of them. :) Here are some excerpts from the book: http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/sources/mantak_chia_taoist_secrets_of_love

There are also energy circulation exercises from various traditions here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-solo-energy-practices

Maybe try one the next time you get the porn urge. Remember Internet porn is way more powerful neurochemical stimulation than porn of the past, hence it's drug-like pull. Wink

tried it a second time

Last night before going to bed I tried this technique again- it was the most blissful masterbatory experience I think I ever had! I became very giddy and could not stop laughing! However, I did not manage to retain all my semen- I think about 1/3 of a normal ejaculation occurred- I think I probably did not press down on the area long enough and/or firmly enough- but this was really a major breakthrough moment- for one thing, it said I did not lose all my libido from doing the technique a few hours beforehand as mentioned in my previous post here- and it was also significant because I think this was probably the first time in many years that I did not ejaculate from porn or porn-related thoughts- I imagined a real life-type scenario with a girl on top of me, riding me- I think the position is called cowgirl? Anyway, what was interesting about this in hindsight is that the first time I ever masturbated, in 1988 when I was 13, I imagined the same scenario! That was probably the other most memorable masturbation experience I've ever had, for obvious reasons, it being my first time! The thing about that experience though is that I was not consciously trying to masturbate- I did not even know what masturbation was, or what semen was- so when I came, it felt ecstatic, but I didn't realize fluid came out until I looked down at myself afterwards- I thought I had hurt myself or something! I thought maybe it was puss that came out of me! That was 22 1/2 years ago- somehow I feel now like I've been reborn or something- I feel like I'm entering into the whole world of sex for the first time, and now it's going to be good, with a real woman, a real lover, real love- and it was funny in a synchronistic way that today when I went for a walk I noticed a lot of women looking at me favorably, like they were really interested in me- it was a little daunting in a way, but I'm sure I'll get used to it!

I never knew it was called that term,

But yes I definitely have consistently noticed that after I masturbate I want to do it more the next day than usual- I seem to get more aroused and so forth- fortunately I've learned to discipline myself rather than spiral down an energy loss path- but sadly I did not not consciously know this when I was younger, which is surely one reason I masturbated everyday at times.


it's not "called" that. I just made the term up. Smile

Once a day is pretty moderate by today's standards. *giggle* But that doesn't mean it wasn't too much for your brain chemistry. Whatever. "Live and learn." I had no idea that my frequent orgasms were making me unnecessarily judgmental (to put it nicely...). Wink


The "Power Lock" technique is not the method you have been trying, you are doing the "external lock". The Taoist book Marnia mentioned covers all these methods and much more. I started with Taoist techniques that began my non-ejaculatory/non-orgasmic journey. Gradually I moved away from this more forceful approach for the softer, gentler karezza way.

I know it is fun and interesting to experiment with new techniques but the external lock is really meant as a last resort when ejaculation in immenent. I suggest a more "solo cultivation" approach which plays with arousal but stays away from high stimulation.

I have a question. During

I have a question. During all sorts of times with my wife I get half erect and so forth and kinda drippy. It isn't like an ejaculation but it's a good amount of pre cum. I'm sure there isn't any problem with this, in terms of keeping one's spermies, but after cuddling and events that result in this, I do feel satiated sexually. Not frustrated at all despite no "consummation". I'm avoiding orgasm. Interesting!

How about wet dreams?

Great thread. Virgil, Darryl or anyone else well versed in the taoist practices, do you have any tips for avoiding wet dreams? Or an explanation for what causes them in the first place? Would kegels help? Some guys can go forever without orgasms or wet dreams, for me it just seems impossible to go more than a few weeks (sometimes much less) without ejaculating in my sleep.


I have a few thoughts for you but wanted to ask a couple of questions first. Are you in a relationship where you are engaging sexually? Also, are you in the process of recovering from POM and obstaining from these three things? If so, for how long?


You're dreaming about sex then you're woken up by your orgasm and coming in your underwear. Usually you catch most of the orgasm while awake. After so many of them, I have to say the refractory period is not as bad as the hell after consciously relapsing, but it usually gives me tension and headaches nonetheless. To add insult to injury, in the last one I was dreaming of being just about to have sex with a girl, doggy style (most arousing position for me, for some reason), and by the time I took her jeans off I was already coming. I woke up and got scared thinking what if I will be "speedy gonzales" in reality as well? But the scariest of them all was one time when I was fucking a guy. I'm completely clueless on what to do to avoid them.

Thanks for the

Thanks for the clarification. Is it always confirmed both in the dream and in an awake state? Is this in the morning or do you wake up in the middle of the night?


not really. I've heard straight folks of both sexes report such dreams. And I bet gay people have straight dreams too. In other dimensions/lives, we probably all try out different options.


Yep, thats what I'm saying. In fact if your NOT in a relationship, dont cum either. Fufilling sex does not require orgasming. The ultimate goal here it to be in a relationship where you engage without orgasm, which is what we call "Karezza".

Wet dreams

Here's my take. When you've spent significant time releasing and releasing, and then releasing your sexual energy some more, your body has a memory that says, release, release, every time there is sexual build up. If you've got to go to sleep for your body to fufill its well worn pattern and sneak one by you then so be it. The other part is that your body is holding more of your natural sexual energy and its not use to it. Like having a 10 amp breaker and running 20 amps through your internal wiring.

On the positive side, you are sticking to your commitiment, you're not doing it intentionally. Heck, your not even awake. Who can fault you, make sure you dont fault yourself.

I think the only answer is time. As you train your mind to go down new pathways your body will eventually follow. The same thing happened to me when I first began forgoing orgasm and ejaculation. It petered out over time. Might have even taken a full year, If I remember right. Fewer and fewer until they stopped.

What I wouldnt do is beat yourself up over it or get down on yourself. Your doing the best you can and controlling what you can control. Dont sweat it. It will deminish on its own. Unfortunately, I know of no special tips or tricks to make it stop sooner, only time.