♥Avoiding ejaculation without the help of the partner

Submitted by Kriyaban on
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Hello. Two and half years ago I practice meditation and I was initiated in kriya yoga 10 months ago. A few months ago I read your book "Cupid's poisoned arrow", which I found very interesting. Today I have a lot of interest in ejaculate as little as possible, especially for energy conservation and the resulting benefits that this can have on my spiritual evolution.

On the other hand, I have 5 years of relationship with my wife. We really enjoy our sexual life together. Currently now she is not interested in the practice of karezza or in try to avoid her orgasms. However, she doesn't see any problem that I don't ejaculate, but she doesn't want my intent to preserve my energy remove spontaneity, naturalness and enjoyment to our sexuality. She is not willing to assist me in my efforts to avoid ejaculation, but as I mentioned, she doesn't prohibit me to try that without affecting our sexual enjoyment.

I would like to get recommendations of ideas, books, websites, etc. that can help me to learn technics to achieve the preservation of my semen without the help of my partner and without she feels affected our sex life.

Thanks in advance for the guidance of all.

Well, considering some of the posts

on here, that's a nice problem to have. Smile

You might find this book helpful: Taoist Secrets of Love:Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia. I believe it has been translated into various languages. It emphasizes the kind of forceful techniques you will need to engage in vigorous sex and yet maintain control. Just be aware that it can stress the prostate according to some who have used this system. So listen to your body carefully.

Thank you !

Thank you very much for your help. I have found this book in my native language and I’m going to study it. Thanks again.
Best wishes

Prostate Problems?

[quote=Marnia]on here, that's a nice problem to have. Smile
Just be aware that it can stress the prostate according to some who have used this system. So listen to your body carefully.[/quote]

From my sig you can see that I haven't reached orgasm over 4-weeks, but I do get sexually excited from time to time and masturbate without ejaculating.

But then after edging for a couple of times, when I let go of m'bating, and when erection goes away, I feel some pain in I guess perineum area (I tried to understand from wiki but didn't quite get), and urethra. And I'd feel like going pee over and over again. But if I hold off urinating for say 15-20 minutes or sometimes 30 minutes and then urinate than this feeling goes away.

I found this happening a lot after having not m'bated for a long time.

Anyone else in the same boat?

2 Months Sober from porn and enjoying every minute of that.
No M'bation since 17-Dec-2010 - First time in 16 years!

I'd listen to the pain

Edging itself can become *quite* addictive. You're dousing your brain with dopamine. Some men get totally hooked on edging...losing all taste for partner sex. Not saying that will happen to you. Just letting you know that edging especially to extreme fantasy, is not soothing to the system.

Good info about edging. And

Good info about edging. And just to clarify, solo cultivation is not edging. Its about staying in the middle ground and tuning into your energy flow without the goal of orgasm, feel what that's like. I think of it as a practice for someone with a partner, primarily.

Well, without a doubt its

Well, without a doubt its more difficult to become non-orgasmic without the support of a partner. On the other hand it offers the male psychy a challenge, and I don't know about you but I often revel in a good challenge, especially one like this. Also, I think as she sees the fruits of your efforts and how she benefits from you being non-orgasmic, she will be willing to support your efforts more.

As far as some good methods to help you get there, try these things. First and foremost, stay with your breath, in fact concentrate on it and take full deep ones, in a relaxed way of course. Second, and this may sound odd, but smile. There is something in smiling while making love with your partner that relaxes the ejaculation response. Also, another very useful technique is to make a low, guttural sound in your throat on the out breath. As low as you can make. Besides having its own effect it keeps you focused on your breath. You can also open up your eyes wide and look out the window or gaze at the ceiling. Open eyes tend to syphon off built up energy where closed eyes usually build it up.

The other thing to do is solo cultivation. Working with yourself without your partner can really give you the space to sense the energy and how to handle it. This will be covered in the book that Marnia suggested. And lastly, don't beat yourself up when you go over the edge into an ejaculation. Its going to happen, and probably quite often. Just dust yourself off and get back in the saddle.

It took me years to ride the waves, so to speak. Over time I have dropped most of these methods, except for relaxed breathing. You may discover other techniques that work for you, we're all different.

Welcome to the world of becoming a non-orgasmic lover, its a journey well worth embarking on, and your woman will thank you for it.

Thank you !

Thank you for your message. I hope that my wife begins to support my efforts in short time. However, as you say, it's difficult especially because of she doesn't like that all this affects the way we make love. When I do something that she doesn't find habitual in sex she criticizes my intent to try to stay non-orgasmic. Also, I find it very difficult to stay away from ejaculation when she moves fast and hard when we make love. However, currently now I am trying the technics that you describe, the ones that I found the book suggested by Marina and some others. I hope that with time I find a technic that works fine for me and let me reduce slowly my ejaculations.


Sorry she is so determined to control your lovemaking. But the exercises might do the trick. Years ago I lent that book to a man, who wrote me a letter several months later, saying, "I can now control my ejaculation no matter what style sex the woman is into." Wink

Let us know how you get on.

These are good news

These are good news for me! I'm happy to read from you that with practice I can arrive to a point where I can control all my ejaculations despite the way my wife make love. I'll be working in this in the following weeks and I'll be writing here about my progress. Thank you Marnia!