Resetting the O-dometer after 90+ Days

Submitted by etgalore on
Printer-friendly version

Well, it was a good run and I learned a lot. I was fiercely disappointed with myself when I MO'd late one night recently. Then I compulsively M'ed again maybe a day or two later. I felt super cranky and even daydreamed about killing myself.

It's weird to experience these feelings and to think that maybe a lot of my imbalances over the years have had to do with the ups and downs of the dopamine rollercoaster.

There were some positive discoveries which came from this "failure," to be sure. It's good to be reminded what is and isn't important.

But now I just long to get back into the equipoise I had when I was MO free. So here I am, on day 1.

And now, I'm going for a walk.

I know the feeling

Even when I masturbated without Porn, it still did a number on my equilibrium. I think orgasm to pornography has caused this, and over time orgasm should be less shocking to the brain. 2 days later I feel back to normal for the most part, but I'm gonna abstain from masturbation as well.
"It always takes time to be good at something. No one's an expert right off the bat." - Motoko Kusanagi

Etgalore -

Doggone it, you were always 2 days up on me. Nevertheless, I agree with Doop, DON'T beat yourself up. Just pick right up where you left off. I know you will and you will beat your 90+ streak.

I hope that the guys on this site will realize that when it comes to PM - you never really reach a place where you are totally CURED!! I've heard of guys who had been porn free for over a year and end up relapsing. So we can be going along, doing great, and then BAM!! - we've relapsed. You have to treat each day as if it is your first day. You have to keep fighting and never giving in or quiting. I'm on day 95 today and I still feel the urge to want to take a sneak peek at a video.

Keep at it brother. You're doing good. You will conquer!!



Thanks for all the encouragement. I know I'm done with P. That was just a short time thing and though it was a compulsion for a while, I don't think it became a true addiction. I really have no desire to look at it.

However, I'm sure there will be O's along the way, even if I become a karezza ninja, so I'm not going to worry about this too much. I'll just be a little more vigilant for the next two weeks, and then I'll be back in the groove, I think.


"o-dometer"... "karezza-ninja"...

"and I'm glad you've discovered occasional masturbation is about as good as occasionally slitting your wrist"

[bigsmile] [bigsmile]

(you guys are ninjas already, going so against mainstream pull...)