So my wife and I have begun our journey in discovering Karezza. She has several reservations about Karezza but they essentially boil down to: 1) What happens when she just doesn't feel like Karezza intercourse and I do; 2) She's OK with Karezza as long as she can still have her orgasms (my, so far, unvoiced concern is if she is sexually sated and I'm not - we are not going to be on the same "schedule" for intercourse based on her diminished sex drive); 3) Sometimes she's too tired or too stressed out to even hug - so then what? We have a twenty-six year marriage where we are "best friends" but would like to have better "chemistry" and maybe rediscover some of the passion (both sexually and emotionally) we once had for each other.
On some level she feels she is doing Karezza for me (not us) and I try to tell her (without judgment) that the Karezza benefits to her and to BOTH of US are substantial. She really does enjoy the relaxed nature of our prolonged, non-goal oriented intercourse and when she wants to orgasm when she feels we are at the end, it is really effortless (and swift) for her after our Karezza session (where before she had a lot of anxiety about her ability to orgasm during conventional sex, whether orally, manually or otherwise). I am happy to accommodate her needs for orgasm as long as it does not jeopardize my ability to NOT ejaculate. I tell her Karezza offers benefits, not just in the physical and emotional intimacy during intercourse (which is HUGE), but also in how we can relate to each other outside of the bedroom as well. The pair-bonding behaviors, like hugging, tongue kissing, massages, skin to skin contact, hand holding, foot and head rubs, spooning, etc... have a positive effect on how we can relate to each other on an on-going basis. She's says I am too much of an idealist (Utopianist) and thinks I am overselling this whole concept because of my "need for sex."
So, since I have very little actual experience in this area, I want to ask the forum:
How have the long-term, continuous Karezza-based bonding behaviors and intercourse impacted your ability as a couple to relate to each other day-in-day-out, argue (fight), resolve serious issues which you face as a couple and get you through the "taking out the garbage, doing the dishes and cleaning the toilet" part of a marriage? :?
Am I unrealistic in my premise that many (but not all) of the bumps in the road of a marriage can be smoothed out by Karezza? That with Karezza a sort of LovingKindness is more present and we can see each other in a whole different light than we have in the past when we were enjoying conventional sex? If I'm way out there and don't have my feet firmly planted on the ground - someone please kick me and wake me up out of my "dream." I appreciate the experienced views of the forum participants.