Things didn't go as planned today: I masturbated twice.
As I mentioned earlier, I get easily triggered when I'm studying. I always used masturbation as some sort of relaxation, a reaction to the stressful, lonesome time during final exams. So I get loaded up sexually now...
Important to mention, I didn't use porn. I wanted to stop during the first 'session', but orgasm hit me really fast. Didn't really use fantasy, just the touch gets me aroused a lot already.
I could live with it if it was just this one, although my plan was to abstain another 23 days. But then the second urge hit me, pure chaser...
This is me seeking comfort in an old habit. A habit that's dangerous because it can lead to porn viewing, and one I am determined to break.
But easier said than done apparently. Somehow I permitted myself these two, so I could easily focus again after, hmmm...
Perhaps I have to use that urge surfing technique more, as I've used it with success already.
Damn damn! really got to watch out. Next week moving to the library (have to stay home this week)
The fact that I don't know if I have to consider this a relapse or not is creating inner conflict now. "Hey, I didn't use the porn!" Yes... but I realize that during these cravings the step to porn is an easy one, as it's very hard to think rationally.
So coping with all urges from now on!
Wish me luck.