♥marriage, sex and karezza, intro to Emerson

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Marriage and sex, how wonderful! -- Introduction from Emerson

I started to masturbate when I was maybe 10 or 11. At the age of 13 a girl tried to seduce me but I felt I was too young. I hadn't had a proper puberty yet. Maybe I was closer to 12 actually.


Then an aggressive girl across the street was babysitting and invited me over to the empty house. The kid was asleep. She wanted me. But I couldn't really get into it. I was scared.

As I entered adulthood I found that I had a lot of anxiety and couldn't maintain an erection with a woman. I would just fall into giving oral sex which I found very satisfying but the girl would give up on me.

Now that I think about it, I was masturbating 3 times a day and maybe that had a slight thing to do with it.

I never enjoyed video porn all that much. I preferred the written word.

When I met the woman who is now my wife, who I will call Sparkles for no particular reason, I had been masturbating maybe 2 or 3 times each day and I had performance issues but she was patient with me and I got over them.

I'm in my early 50s and have been married about 25 years now. Very happily married.

I am very alpha in my life and my wife is not timid or anything but she enjoys my running things. She is in fact a successful professional in her own rite. I never realized until recently how much she likes me at the head of the table and other alpha things I do.

Sparkles lacks the strong sex drive that I have always had. She would climax most of the time from oral attention or clitoral stimulus and enjoyed intercourse. We had sex twice a week for the longest time, which was more frequent than a lot of couples our age.

About a month ago I realized that porn and masturbation were interfering with my life and I gave them both up completely. I wanted something a lot better. I knew that giving up whacking off would get me focused on improving my life in a big way. I was open to Kerazza and had heard of it but couldn't imagine giving up orgasms.

I told Sparkles about it and went through some rocky times but not that rocky compared to many of the reports from men I've read here and elsewhere.

Sparkles was a bit afraid of my intensity here and worried about my pressuring her all the time for sex now that I wasn't whacking off. During this first few weeks I was very horny. I was also curious and I envisioned I suppose sex maybe 3 times a week and hopefully 4.

Meanwhile, I read the Bass book and Cupid's Poisoned Arrow and Tantra for Men and found them very helpful and they opened my eyes to the fact that sex without orgasm and the power of the oxytocin bonding thing was really what I wanted after all.

Now I've been doing Kerazza for the past few weeks. No worries if Sparkles climaxes but I think she gets this and wants to try it for herself. She hasn't climaxed for a few weeks now.

I cannot get enough of her. I am wanting to snuggle hug and kiss all the time. Ecstasy is my being inside her which can't be too often or for long enough for me.

What's been a huge, major transition, life changing, is how I feel about Sparkles and the ecstasy that I've been feeling.

We just went for a walk on the beach and I had half a hard on the whole time, just from holding hands.

A warm feeling, a sexual and ecstatic feeling, is with me all the time. Actually I could feel this before, all the time, but it wasn't at all sexual and now there is a sexual component to it.

I haven't had an orgasm for maybe 2 or 3 weeks and don't plan on having any. When we started this I would heat up and had a bit of blue balls but quickly fell into a cooler way.

Sparkles still is holding back a bit. She always has found breasts too sensitive and she is still a bit anxious that I am so intense. We have had long discussions about it.

I've never experienced anything like this before. It is an incredible high but not one like drugs or orgasmic sex. There is no letdown. It's continuous. I can't believe how easily I fell into this. I just can't imagine going back to the way we used to do things.

I am still a bit anxious about sex now and then. For instance about trying new positions. I generally start soft and Sparkles is post-menopausal and doesn't lubricate at the beginning like she used to although as I insert and a little time goes by it's great and she lubricates very well.

I think she is a bit worried that my intensity will fade. I explained to her that my feelings won't fade. I would love to have sex every day, snuggling and having intercourse. My interest in oral and other things is still there but it just isn't that important at all.

It's a new world for me. I can't emphasize this enough. In addition, my memory has gotten better and I am sharper.



Thanks for sharing

Yeah, it can take partners a bit to adjust. My thought is that if you want her to keep moving in the right direction, keep emphasizing the bonding behaviors.

Also make intercourse as comfortable as possible for her. Sounds like you already do this. The Richardsons recommend organic almond oil as a lube. Might make things even easier.

Don't let any tipping of the canoe deter you. Things will even out.

Nice to meet you!

It seems to me like there are some things in life that can drag a person into a downward spiral. If you can figure out how to stop and stand still for a second, you can sometimes find the mirror spiral and get into the upward side of it. You know what I mean? Most people blogging on here seem to be trying to work there way to the still point. I applaud them and want to help support them in their journeys, but that's not where I'm at. It's nice to have a comrade who is also climbing the updraft!

nicely put!

I am on an uplift that's for sure. Have been for many years. It just keeps getting better. I'm grateful that my issues are very minor and that life has been so sweet. Including finding this forum, which has been wonderful.


Its great to hear when long time married couples find a way to revitalize there relationship. So many couples have little or no sexual loving and when they do its often not very fulfilling. Being over 50 myself I have an extra soft spot for couples like yourselves who are finding a way to reignite the spark. Karezza is a great and successful way to do it.

It really sounds like you've got the feel of it, now its just a matter of time. My observation is that the woman is often a little more cautious to accept a karezza type change as us men have a tendency and history of glomming on to women's sexuality. They tend not to see that karezza style lovemaking really does hold space for the woman, a space where they can breath and feel. Also, we all have at least some difficult with new changes in our relationships. Just stay on course and I guarantee she will become fully on board. Karezza by its nature holds space for and embraces the feminine nature.

Question for you Darryl.

it's been amazing. The most important thing to ever happen to me aside from meeting my wife on a relationship and personal type level.

My wife seems to like having orgasms and that's wonderful too. I read your blog posts and noticed your wife preferred this for awhile, a year or more as I recall. I'm not going to sweat it. I will see how things to as far as her mood and so forth but it's up to her if she wants to go that direction or not. I'm sure after awhile she'll get into this fully with me but it's wonderful anyway. I'm thrilled beyond words as I never knew this mood and feeling existed. You are an inspiration to me here because your situation is very similar to mine and one of my questions was if this feeling will burn out. I never thought it would but apparently your experience is it doesn't and won't.

I'm sure it will change a lot but the basics of it, doesn't seem like it will fade at all. Is that your experience indeed?

Will it fade?

From our experience, absolutely, unequivocally, no. It does not fade, in fact it grows and deepens. After 13 years its still moving to new places. You know that feeling you mentioned of "cant get enough of her"? I still feel that way. There are still times where we get on each others nerves of course, but its infrequent and dissipates easily. As you guys settle in and trust the experience more it becomes a very sweet flow of intimacy and affection. You'll discover places you didn't know were there. Its a delightful process.