avoiding orgasms, but my partner "sleep humps"?

Submitted by ink-kai on
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Hello. I've been experimenting by trying to avoid orgasms for 30 days and see what effects it has on my mood. I've been able to abstain for 11 consecutive days until I stayed over my fiancé's place. I didn't expect that he'd give me oral sex that day, and afterwards, I've been trying to explain why we shouldn't engage in conventional sex or "flirt with an edge" for a period of time because of my experiment. However, we had sex again a couple of days later, but this time, he performed oral sex on me in his sleep. ("Surprise sex"?)

My question is how do I calm down my fiancé when he does this at night? He'll do certain things like kissing, groping, humping, fingering, and sometimes oral sex, but he doesn't know what he's doing 'til he wakes up in the middle of it.

What can I do to get him to slow down and ease the sexual tension he feels in his genitals when he's "sleep-humping"?

When I was dating, I had

When I was dating my ex, I had problems getting it up during normal sex. But I used to get hard in the middle of the night and sleephump or teabag her even though I was half asleep. Good thing she wasnt trying to abstain .. :)

One thing that could help is cuddling, it definitely used to help calm me down when I didnt want to wake her up.

Yeah, I was thinking of trying to calm him down.

We do cuddle at night when we go to sleep, but he still sleep humps every now and then. I try to tell him 'no', but sometimes, it's hard not to give in, especially since I'm half asleep, and I don't know what's going on half of the time. Haha. :) But I do try to avoid oral sex and penetrative sex during then.

I'm not sure what other things I can do to calm him down though.


Haha, I was that guy with my last girlfriend, sometimes waking up to find my face between her legs! Anyway, what can you do?>>> shove him off or wake him up!

i too have actually in the

i too have actually in the last few months found woken up in the middle of snuggling with the intent to arouse, and have sex in the middle of the night too! i would describe it as being mostly 75-80% asleep when sliding over and initiating although once I literally woke up and found myself kissing and fondling! i feel kinda bad because i've woken her up and really didn't have 'intent' to go all the way. i am dead sleepy either way so kinda apologize and go back to my side of the bed. i suppose sleeping apart is really the only way of preventing it from happening as cruel as that seems. not sure if there's other more professional suggestions out there.

that's what i was thinking

that's what i was thinking myself after the post... friskiness together, altho not in line with "no O" is at least the correct situation for O. thanks Marnia for the correction/opinion!