For people with ED, does oral sex work for you?

Submitted by fixme on
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I was wondering if people that had ED also had issues during oral sex.

I have had ED issues for about 4 years but when I was in a relationship,
I noticed that it was easier to have an erection with oral sex.
At times, I also had issues not getting an erection with oral but it definitely
happened less often.

The reason I ask is this could help people figure out if ED is more due
to anxiety or porn-related. So, if you've been rebooting for a long time like me
and still have ED issues, it might be in your head. Trying oral sex where there
is no pressure on you to perform (get it up, put the condom on, stick it in, etc)
might be a better indication of whether you can get erections again.

I haven't engaged in much

I haven't engaged in much oral sex or sex during recovery so my comments are before rebooting started. I believe that my ease with it is due to less anxiety about having to perform. Additionally, I had a lot of oral sex before real sex with many past girlfriends so I had more confidence around that to begin with. I had oral sex only for years without ever having ED, but I had never watched porn at that time (but was masturbating).

Oral sex

I used to enjoy oral sex as a boy at age 14, when I were new to MO.
But since age 20 I realised that it just didn't do it for me anymore, like the feeling in my penis went numb for oral simulation.
I didn't think it could have been from masturbation.
I am now on my 3rd day of reboot,
I hope that I will be able to enjoy oral sex again.

Oral never worked for me. Not

Oral never worked for me. Not even when my ED issues were not as bad as they are now.

The sensations never really pleased me, nor the visuals. As far as I can tell the whole sensation-thing is subtler than intercourse, so guys with ED will usually find oral more difficult/impossible to get erect with.. but that's just a hunch.

sadly no

Years ago, I considered this an answer to my problems. I can say that I was in a few situations where very attractive women gave me oral, and I went maybe to half mast. If I had to point to my most embarassing moment in life, it was this situation. even recently, I was offered it, and I turned it down, knowing I would have problems. Ironically I had no problems with M during these times. Ultimately this is what motivated me just to give up PMO for year, so thanks for reminding me.

here's the problem with oral sex -- anxiety

The major issue guys have is anxiety, if they have ED issues or are recovering from porn.

Oral sex is so focused on arousal and orgasm that it can increase anxiety and not be very useful.

It's the "trying" that gets guys anxious and oral sex is one sided, she tries and you are supposed to get hard and have an orgasm. So the focus is on your performance really more than it is on intercourse. On intercourse, she's getting your penis inside her and benefiting in that way. With oral sex it's you who are benefiting and all the emphasis is on your performance.

Now, for a Karezza Komment:

As an aside, really, interestingly, oral sex is much less interesting to me now than it used to be. Dunno why. We are practicing Karezza and oral sex just doesn't have an attraction anymore. Some would say that it's all energy states, the positive penis and the negative polarity vagina channel energy which oral sex does not. Not sure. But I am not really that interested in giving or getting oral sex as I used to be even 6 weeks ago.

I had never cummed during

I had never cummed during oral sex...then an ex unzipped my pants when I was driving and voila, I painted the car interiour white. I had never really thought of WHY I couldnt cum when a girl had my penis in her mouth but now I know..

Same with sex, either I couldnt get it hard or I could never cum. I could go on for ages. And honestly, I didnt really enjoy sex that much.

Funny . . . women never have ED - certainly not with ORAL

It just dawned on me that the term ED makes almost no sense with today's women. Since the advent of universal oral sex, the term "frigidity" (applied to women who couldn't orgasm by intercourse) seems antiquated.

I'm betting the issue is this: CIRCUMCISION. Men who are circumcised need much more friction - oral sex provides that. Masturbation (alone or with partner) also does. With a firm hand and mouth, I get erect. Without, it is ED time. I am tightly circumcised.

I have tried karezza twice with two partners. I think the relaxation component doesn't allow my circumcised penis to wax and wane in a valley just dies ... instead of a fish standing still in water, it is a fish floating dead on the water without some friction.

Just saying.