Day 121 - what to say?

IM1969's picture
Submitted by IM1969 on
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I saw some porn images yesterday when looking for work pictures in google search and they did absolutely nothing I didn't have to think of anything and they didn't stir any thoughts or feelings about anything. I just felt 'neutral' to them. I think it's the first time I didn't have a knee jerk reaction and just go 'arrrggggh' before running away. They were just there and that was ok.
Looking forward to the race at the weekend. I realised that it will be the first event I have done since I quit PMO and web camming. I am not as fit as I have been in the past and the type of event we're doing isn't my thing so I am not expecting massive results but I am wondering what changes there will be in how I think about myself when the going gets tough. I have noticed that I have been feeling less sorry for myself when I have been training hard and also that I have looked for the 'hard places' to train more. Whatever happens I think it will be good to race knowing that it is my first one since I started beating this thing long term.