A forum member shared this:
If a woman is thinking outside her body of other things and a man comes in to touch her breasts, it could possibly feel a bit repulsive, ticklish, not good (and she might get defensive and move away).
For me, I have to first go inside my body and start the circle of energy, feeling my breasts from the inside, THEN my lover's touches feel exquisitely divine. I will often do this while I'm waiting for him to arrive at my house or when we first start to kiss and make love.
It has to be something intentional and it has to start with the woman. No amount of a man touching a woman's breasts will make this happen on its own!
But once it is initiated by the woman, the breasts can bring ecstasy she's never known. I'm so grateful to Diana Richardson for bringing this to my attention~~my sexual life is forever changed for the better!
I strongly recommend this Interview with Diana Richardson, which discusses the role of the breasts.
Even while solo, women can make interesting energetic experiments with their breasts:
This morning I was doing my daily ritual, something I do for relaxation and comfort, where I focus on moving my sexual energy upwards through by vagina into and out of my breasts and was finding it hard to focus for some reason. So I added a little breast massage and was starting to notice more sensation and heat in my breasts. After reading Diana's Richardson's chapter on the role of breasts in lovemaking, I decided to add a little light nipple caressing as well.
I've been staying away from my nipples since steering away from orgasm because for years I've used my nipples as a route to intenser orgasms, both in masturbation and sex with a partner. I found that by getting my partner to play with my nipples during sex in increasingly intense and sometimes painful ways, I could provoke really explosive orgasms. But those orgasms came through oral-clitoral stimulation, usually, or maybe always now that I think about it, and not through penetration. I found that even after an orgasm, I still wanted penetration, but I would want it fast and furious while ignoring any tension or pain I was often feeling and not really paying attention to subtle sensation. That's not what I'm going for now. Now I'm practicing to relax so I can be open, receptive and sensitive to penetration in a new way, without the peak orgasm and the subsequent emotional drama.
[note for those who haven't been following my posts, I've been doing all this while single and with no intercourse. I'm also not really trying to 'masturbate', thus I'm not using toys either.]
The soft nipple caressing at first was good, and in order to avoid clitoral arousal, I focused on moving the energy upwards through my vagina to my breasts. The energy cycling exercise has allowed me to feel more sensations in my breasts and has helped move the energy out of my clitoris and take away the horny groping energy I used to feel. However, I hadn't felt anything in my vagina.
After a few caresses, I felt a little desensitized. Or maybe it was that the feeling was becoming more in the surface of the skin and I was losing the mental awareness of the sensation inside my breasts. I no longer felt any heat in my breasts. So I decided to hold my fingers about an inch away from my nipples and imagine the energy coming up through my breasts and imagined my breast expanding to reach my fingers. This increased the feeling of heat in my breasts again. After a while with this, I lightly touched my nipples and suddenly I felt a surge of energy, like electricity, come up through my vagina, fill my breasts and move out through my nipples. For the first time, I could feel in my body the entire energy circuit that I had been visualizing.
This was a great feeling, but was especially interesting for me to experience without an aching or urges in my clitoris and while still feeling relaxed. Throughout the day I've been noticing more positive sensations in my breasts than usual without feeling even the slightest bit horny or needy, even when I was hanging around with someone I have a huge crush on!
And here's an interesting one that a friend just shared privately (but is happy for me to share here):
On March 2nd, A and I spent 12 hours (9:30pm to 9:30am the next morning) as if we were glued together at the chest, with the exception of when one of us would get up for a few minutes. Our legs were intertwined, we slept intermittently, and awoke happy, refreshed, and deeply relaxed.Later that same day, or the next day, A was standing at the bathroom mirror and realized thatshe had the full sensation of her missing breast, just as if it were there. I think she waited a day or so to tell me, so she was sure her mind wasn't playing tricks on her. Diana mentions the ability of some women to feel their phantom breast(s). Here it was as a gift to A without either of us expecting it.You can imagine how this has improved A's confidence, sense of balance, and the way she comes across to the world. Before she was always checking the way she looked and didn't feel quite balanced. She still wears a pad to take the place of the missing breast when she's out in public, but it's not constantly on her mind.
When A and I started seeing each other almost 2 years ago, her chest was painful on both sides, even to her own touch. When I laid my hand on her chest in still, giving touch the first few times, the first layer of hurt melted away, so that it was no longer painful for me or her to touch her chest. In the following months, another layer or two dissolved, when other hurts were healed associated with that time of loss. I think this last experience brought her (energetically and emotionally) back to a time before her breast was removed.
(Earlier background on this couple: http://www.reuniting.info/
comment/24013#comment-24013and http://www.reuniting.info/ node/8299)
Also see this meditiation, submitted by Rachel: Concentrate On the Breasts
And these comments:
Back in July, I wrote to Diana Richardson to ask her about something she mentions in her video (and her books) as far as body changes that can happen when a woman brings her focus into her breasts and begins to love herself and feel herself in that way. I do a daily breast meditation and also get and give all my love through my breasts when I am with my beloved. About a year ago, I had to purchase new bras that are several cup sizes larger (although my band size has decreased), while still wearing the same jeans, etc., and have noticed my thighs are smaller and more toned. My breasts also feel very firm and round...and are extremely (delightfully) sensitive to the touch. I *love* my new body (finally! I am now 52 and it's the first time I've really, truly accepted it). Here is what I wrote:
"Dear Diana, I am so curious about something you mentioned in the video with Eva-Maria Zurhorst about how your body has changed over the years from practicing tantra and tapping into your divine feminine. My beloved and I have been practicing for about 2-1/2 years now and amazingly enough, my body has changed somewhat dramatically. I’ve always been tall and thin
and somewhat “busty,” but now my breasts are so much larger than they have ever been! I’m just curvier overall although my thighs have gotten smaller. Also, my hair has grown longer and thicker and I find myself wanting to present myself to the world in a much more feminine manner (I will wear a bit of a heel with jeans, etc., something I would never have done in the past).
I was married previously for over 20 years and we did not have a sexually loving relationship, although we loved each other immensely as friends, mostly. Over the years of being married and not being loved (or giving love) as a woman, I found myself starting to slowly become less feminine in my looks and my attire. I was almost embarrassed to show my femininity and would wear loose shirts, etc., to hide my breasts (I didn’t like them!). Now I wear form-fitting clothes and show off my curves to the world. I’m just wondering if this was also your experience and is this common? I have brought my breasts into the center of my lovemaking and it has made all the difference in the world. I feel like such a voluptuous woman now and this is the way I’ve always dreamed of making
love. I’ve never been happier!
Anyway, thank you so much for all of your teachings (I have all of your books and just keep constantly reading them in a rotation)~~you have changed my life forever for the better!"
And here is how she responded:
A joy to receive your message, so many thanks for writing. So interesting to read about your bodily changes/attitude/feelings of femininity, and these certainly bear testament to how sincerely you have integrated 'my' approach into your way of being.
Beautiful to experience how true femininity is a byproduct of changing of our sexual ways, compliments to you and your beloved.
Quite some women do notice similar changes, although not all such a noticeable breast enlargement! In my case they have retained their 'nubility' or 'nubile-ness' (if there are such words!) and with me rising sixty they continue to be radiant and sweet! For me a visible integration and balancing between upper and lower body took place, plus some changes in the legs, and now that you mention about the hair, that is so interesting, coz i never thought about it. i started this sexual approach in my early thirties after a couple of years living in India....I was in India for ten years all in all, and i always put my hair growth down to my hair being happy to be in india
- after all look at the indian women's hair!!! I always had longish mid-back hair since a girl, but then it just took off and has continued to do so, and now i cut it twice a year and 'keep it short' level with my bum, if i did not do this it would for sure go way below my knees.
So thrilled to hear that you are so happy with your life and lovemaking, that your dreams have come true! all the best to you dear, thank you again also for your Kelly input in the Tantric Love Letters book,and nice to hear that you find there is value in reading the books again and again.
Best wishes, and much love to you and your beloved each day,
Since writing her, I have also finished reading her newest book, "Tantric Love Letters," (she used my writing on pages 22-24; thanks for arranging that, Marnia!)~~and I was excited to see these words on page 184:
"As you begin to make love in a new way, as suggested in my book, your body will also start to change. And it does not matter that you are fifty-four. Great changes are still possible at any age, the body is always totally read to cooperate with your awareness. Breasts grow, thighs slim down, a unity exists in the body, a quality of serenity arises, movement becomes graceful, all as reflections of self-love and inner beauty. I wish you the courage to trust in your inner world, and the readiness to take steps into the unknown. Doing so will increase your joy and zest for life, which in turn will make you feel youthful and uplifted and empowered."
And when I read this, I said "Yes!"! That is how I feel~~very powerful, very feminine, very beautiful, very peaceful. When I walk out into the world I am aware of my inner divine feminine being and am not ashamed of it *nor* trying to exploit it~~it's just the way I am and it feels natural and good. I think the reason I feel so empowered is because this feeling belongs to *me*...it comes from inside and I have it within me as I travel through life~~no one can take it away from me. As important as I feel it is to have the masculine balance which you receive from a man through lovemaking, a woman also needs to give back the feminine energy and this is how you cultivate it.
And then, coincidentally (not really, as I don't believe in coincidences!), I was flipping through her "Tantric Orgasm for Women" book and saw these words that I had marked a couple of years ago (not knowing what was in store for me):
"A woman might question whether encouraging a man to lust after her perfect breasts really serves her orgasmic potential in the long run. When a woman loves her own breasts and allows a man to love her breasts, they respond to the positive attention. Many women report an increase in breast size after they begin to make love according to female and male polarity~~through bringing the breasts into their rightful magnetic alignment."
Now when we make love, I feel it *through* my breasts and my vagina responds in such a way that gives a full "yes" to my lover. Also, he can touch them and feel the energy pulse through his penis. Many times after lovemaking, he will lie on top of me with his head between my breasts and there is such a feeling of coming home and being loved (for both of us).
As Diana says, it's never too late to rediscover your body and its potential~~and I say it's better late than never!
(Bianca) The breasts are on the Kidney meridian, and the kidneys are the water element and regulate many sex hormones. I have become very sensitive to my own kidney health, and notice that when I have overworked, not hydrated enough, and am depleted, I am generally much drier (and I am not talking just about sexual lubrication, but overall moistness throughout the day as well). When I am well rested, well nourished, well-hydrated, energized, exercising, practicing karezza, I get very juicy.
The way the breasts are touched is extremely different from man to man. My husband has not yet learned how to commune with my breasts, how to find the "on" switch. The reason for this, I think, is that it seems to me that when he touches them he is doing so to try to turn them on, but he is not really being present with them, communciating with them.
On the other hand, when we exchange massage I have found that the electrical jolt from nipples to vagina that I have experienced so much with other lovers has been felt on my end when he was not intending to arouse me, but was just appreciating and enjoying my breasts. My breasts could tell the difference, and it is a world of difference.
It seems the intent behind the touch is easily read and is absolutely key. I don't know if men's bodies read intent in the same way as women's. I'm sure they do register intent, but as men are often in the more active role, they just might not fully grasp just how crucial presence and intent are to how a woman feels from his touch.
Bottom line, I don't think that women - or maybe even anyone - responds in a truly erotic way from a touch that is intended to mechanically arouse, from someone focused on trying to be a good lover. Real arousal happens for me as a woman when true appreciation is present. What do you think, guys? Can you notice the tonal difference between being touched instinctively through appreciation versus intent to arouse?. These differences may seem subtle, but to women at least, they absolutely are not. We are exquisitely sensitive creatures. So exquisitely sensitive, in fact, that any sort of distorted touch is a turnoff.
I don't think that women's "lower libido" has really anything at all to do with her innate eroticism, but more to do with the fact that for centuries we - both men and women - have been making love as men tend to. Like it or not, a woman's body, being receptive, is extremely sensitive to tone and intent PERHAPS in a way that men don't experience. I don't really know.