Welcome to "Karezza Korner"

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In a hurry? See What Is Karezza? or Lovers' Ultimate Sex Hack: Karezza.

"What strikes me the most about this whole process is how quick and dramatic the changes were for us. We went from being your typical 20-year married couple to completely open-hearted, always at the ready, 24x7 lovers, in a matter of days! This magnitude of change, occurring in such a short time frame cannot be the result of any sort of cognitive process; that can take years. This is clearly a neurochemical and/or hormonal related process. If there was a pill you could buy to do that, it would be on the front page of every magazine and in a t.v. commercial at every break. But since it's inside every one of us and free, we never hear about it. Such a shame....

From my recent experiments with non-orgasmic sex, I'm tempted to view orgasm and its associated hangover as "the matrix" (think the 1999 movie) whose effects marketers can use to manipulate us. It reminds me of this quote from the movie:

The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work… when you go to church… when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. … That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison for your mind.

For those who haven't experienced the difference between conventional fertilization-based sex and Karezza, that might sound like an extreme analogy, but the way orgasm changes my energy level, outlook, emotional state, availability for connection, satisfaction with my marriage, with life, etc. is so dramatic and essentially unconscious, I think the analogy fits."

If you want to know more about the practice, you may wish to check out:


  1. What do women say about karezza experiences?
  2. What do men say about karezza experiences?
  3. What is the man's role in karezza?
  4. What's the woman's role in karezza?
  5. Explaining this to a date or partner
  6. What source materials about karezza help?
  7. Why you need to focus on yourself during karezza
  8. How can I get wet without foreplay?
  9. Anyone have lubricant suggestions?
  10. Karezza in Four Easy Steps (for men)
  11. How do you keep karezza "warm" so it doesn't get too "hot?"
  12. Karezza positions, timing, tips, etc.
  13. Tips for beginners
  14. Honeymoon neurochemistry
  15. Mixing karezza and conventional sex
  16. Advice to young guys experimenting with karezza
  17. Won't I be bored?
  18. How can I have pleasure in my penis/body without orgasm?
  19. Orgasm hangover?
  20. Is there a way to minimize the hangover if you experience one?
  21. Intense cravings for more stimulation after orgasm (the "chaser")
  22. Karezza Slogans
  23. Do lasting relationships make sense as a goal?
  24. What do you do when you don't have enough time for karezza?
  25. Scheduling encounters to increase harmony
  26. Karezza is for addicts (too)
  27. Can karezza help heal women's sexual wounds?
  28. Non-goal-oriented sex eases ED
  29. How do you know when karezza lovemaking is complete?
  30. Practicing karezza when you have children
  31. Why I don't miss orgasmic sex
  32. Importance of frequent encounters
  33. Advice to young guy experimenting with karezza
  34. Does karezza increase sexual responsiveness?
  35. Does karezza increase male "neediness?"
  36. Too much energy? Should you use the "Exchanges" in Cupid's Poisoned Arrow?
  37. Some questions concerning Karezza (from an 18-year old)
  38. Discussion of prostatic fluids
  39. Surprise orgasms
  40. Vaginal pain during intercourse
  41. Does soft entry work?
  42. How much movement?
  43. How do I get him to slow down?
  44. What about blue balls?
  45. How do I get my wife on board?
  46. Can a woman do Karezza if the man isn't into it?
  47. Partner-based birth control
  48. Karezza and condoms
  49. The role of the breasts in female responsiveness
  50. How important is "chemistry" with a prospective lover?
  51. Long-distance Karezza?
  52. What helps while solo?
  53. Karezza in casual sexual relationships
  54. How to recover from a sexless marriage
  55. What about oral sex and karezza?
  56. Sleep karezza
  57. Karezza challenges
  58. Should women have all the orgasms they want before trying karezza?
  59. Gay couple's karezza experience
  60. Just bonding behaviors when starting a relationship
  61. Bonding behaviors during a relationship
  62. Random karezza benefits
  63. Karezza as spiritual practice
  64. Karezza, tantra, Daoist sexual cultivtation discussion
  65. Can I track our lovemaking?
  66. Are there karezza groups in my area?

Said one karezza practitioner:

Karezza seems like an expanded balloon to me. You can pressure it up to a certain level and play with it, but the trick is, don’t over blow and don’t release. Then intercourse can become a marvelous dance that has no real definable limits, except perhaps, not to reach orgasm. It just goes on and on, a beautiful joyous communion.

Another man replied:

I am glad you mentioned the balloon. Several years ago (before karezza) I used a balloon and a helium tank to explain to my wife how my orgasms worked. We would time our orgasms, so we could orgasm together, and sometimes when I was "ahead" of her I would need her to slow down (she was usually on top) to let me recover a bit. I would inflate the balloon until it almost popped and then release some of the helium and then I would refill it. I did this several times to show her how it worked. After several inflation/deflation cycles I let it fill up till it popped, BANG! BOOM! orgasm, dead balloon...... I did this to help her better understand how once I had my orgasm it was all over. "No more, done, finished, it's over, sorry about your luck." Now that we are practicing Karezza the balloon does get a bit inflated from time to time but being aware of what is happening an not "over-inflating" the balloon is what it is all about now. There is no more "done, finished, it's over, sorry about your luck," which is what we are finding to be the beauty of Karezza. Both of us come away feeling satisfied and bonded not leaving either one out in the cold, helpless, in need, and unsatisfied.



Lack of kareeza in a new relationship

Your comment about being sad when you had this type of relationship with your previous partner made me sad also because I too had this with my last partner, who am no longer with. We are both in our sixties and even though I desired sex more than he did, he was the type to touch and caress without goal oriented sex.When we did have sex it was a wonderful satisfying experience. I became addicted to that closeness. Now I am wondering if I should go "cold Turkey" on even this type of relationship. I am not in a relationship now and the wall is going back up.

have you tried Karezza?

after awhile there are other things to do and you pull out, snuggle for a bit and move on with your day or evening.

It never ends, that's what is so cool about it. It is never finished.

We have had orgasmless

We have had orgasmless intercourse many times over the last 25 years, just as a means of bonding, but never knew what it was called and never continued with it, always went back to having orgasms, which for us almost always are simultaneous.


[quote=Luv2fly]We have had orgasmless intercourse many times over the last 25 years.[/quote]

How did you know when your orgasmless intercourse was over? (as that was your original question).

My bad, there were no orgasms

My bad, there were no orgasms. We just bonded and it was pretty uneventful, and when it was over, it was over, kinda nice. A nice closeness and a nice feeling. I guess that is what Karezza is all about, I'm just not too sure about the whole 'no more o's ' concept. We are going to give it a try.

No more o's

[quote=Luv2fly], I'm just not too sure about the whole 'no more o's ' concept. We are going to give it a try.[/quote]

I'm not too sure, either; but it's well worth exploring.

Fluid Releases?

I am curious about the fluid releases my wife is now having. In the past when we had sex with orgasms she was never this wet. Now we have to put a towel under us to keep the sheets from getting wet. Lloyd mentions it in his book but I am still not too sure about it and what exactly brings it on. It doesn't happen every time we make love but it does happen most of the time. It usually happens after about 30 mins and sometimes it will happen again towards the end at about an hour or so. My wife says she doesn't know when or why it happens it just does. I always know when it does as I get this wonderful warm flow all around the base of my penis and on my scrotum. It is a beautiful thing, that's for sure. In the beginning she was a little embarrassed by it because she thought she was making a huge mess, but I have reassured her it is fine, I love it, and so now she is OK with it. I am sure it is perfectly normal but I wonder why it has just begun since we started Karezza, any thoughts?

Fluid Releases?

Dear Luv2fly ,
It is perfectly normal the release of more and more Yoni fluid in Karezza in comparison to normal sex. The reason is that your partner feels so much pleasure and bliss in the whole act and not just once but many times during a session Love making . I have also experinced the same with my partner and we both really enjoyed it a lot.

Are all couples supposed to be heterosexual?

I was interested in the site and topic but unfortunately I feel like the information is very hetero biased. Many folks in the GLBTQ community might have interest in this subject but it seems like all the articles are written assuming that practitioners will be man/woman couples. Is this site just for straight people? If so does anyone know of a good site that has similar topic but is more open to gender variations and other sexualities?


many Os

I have been a solo karrezza practionor for many years (unbeknown at the time) and found the magic of not having an orgasm so benifical . My question is ..i now have a sexual partner who is very orgasm driven yet i am able to prolong mine owing to my practice yet she is fixated on me having one , the thing is i have several internal orgasms and sometimes it feels as though i have ejaculated but its not its like air so i was wonderong if anyone knows what this sensation is ?

were you/are you edging?

Are you saying that you were not having an orgasm when you masturbated? This is usually a form of edging, which has a lot of the same neurochemical results on the brain that orgasm does. 

If you have internal orgasms, it can be that you've learned to have an orgasm without ejaculation which men can learn and maybe that's what you've learned.

Not sure what your partner is wanting you to do? Women do love to entice the sperm out of a man. It's built into women's programs, just as us guys love to "make a woman come" (which is nonsense but it's how we look at it.)

yes i rarely orgasmed when

yes i rarely orgasmed when masterbating i was practicing karrezza without knowing thats what i was doing until i came across this site and then i knew . she just wants me to come says its not normal even though i explain how great it feels not to i even try to keep her at the edge but alas she spills over . oh well some just dont know whats good for them. i have purchased the book and am looking forward to reading it as i seem to be doing a lot of the bathing rituals without knowing why . thanks again for your reply

Yes, karezza is one of those things

that has to be experienced to be believed in today's sexual climate.

But your girlfriend isn't entirely correct. For example, there are other primates that also have a fair amount of sex without ejaculation. So it may turn out that it's not weird at all for humans to have sex without going for ejaculation constantly...especially given the fact that we're pair-bonders and thrive on daily affection.

See What Can Chimps Teach the Church About Sex?

I have just recieved the

I have just recieved the journey to paradise and it is a wonderfull book well researched easy to read but most of all it has answered so many questions about what i have been feeling on a deep level . As Leigh martin says 'its like coming home'.
To any one thinking of purchasing this book I highly recommend it as a brilliant guide to a balanced & full life ..

Advise for controlling a woman's release

We have been practicing the art of reserving our sexual chi for a few months now. We were drawn to this work through Gnosticism, which is in alignment with our spiritual focus. This piece of coitus reservatus (in my opinion) being the missing link to the potential of full awakening.
My husband is quite skilled in the holding or control of his release. However, I am still learning. I would love to hear any feedback, exercises, or advise from women who have conquered this in themselves- How to gain control over the that which I was once glorified for-and prevent myself from going over the falls- so-to-speak. Since initiating this practice my experiences have shifted to a much deeper more internal experience yet still a quivering or spasm that I would very much like to direct. Thank you in advance for your offerings.


That's a good question. Do you feel like you're trying to fight yourself?

My intuition is that you might like Diana Richardson's book "Tantric Orgasm for Women." It's title is misleading. It's all about feeling your sexual energy at its most subtle level. Paradoxically, that sometimes helps it from "shorting out" in a reflex orgasm.

Thank you Marnia

Thank you Marnia
To answer your question- no I am not fighting myself, I believe it's more like not really knowing myself, the line between the building up to the peak and the spilling over the edge is very thin and yes over the last few years, before our journey an understanding of the control of sexual force, my orgasms had gotten to the place of short circuit, or fizzle out. I have analyzed this and have an understanding of perhaps why and now feel I just need to reconnect or go into myself to discover the subtleties or signals telling me that I am there or better yet getting close. As of now the rhythm has been inconsistent.
Thank you for the recommendation I will get this book. I have been all over the web looking for the right books, which is what led me to your site. Honestly, am less drawn to Tantric books because I am never sure what form the author is practicing . Yes this title would have definitely been over looked by me.
Have you ever thought of having a social event in Ashland?
If you do please let me know it would be wonderful to connect with like minded couples and community members.

trouble getting started

I came across this site and after reading many entries, ordered the book and read it in just a couple days. This is what I have been searching for my whole life! I am a former heavy porn user, there was a period in marriage where I didn't even want to have sex with my husband, I would rather look at porn and masterbate. After coming across this book, everything seems to make more sense to me. After Living in confusion it seems I have found a way out. I am completely willing to try karezza, and yearn to do so. The only problem is my husband doesn't seem to want anything to do with it. He won't read Cupids Poisoned Arrow, or anything from this site about it. We have started the exchanges, and have only done two so far, but he puts them off, and acts as if they were a chore. I asked him to stop whatching porn and masterbating, which he was doing on a daily basis. Now with no orgasms he feels I am trying to take away all his pleasures. I feel bad when he says this and feel like I need to "reward" him by giving him some sexual favor without orgasm. I think karezza would help our relationship and overall being immensely, but am having trouble getting started. Any suggestions or tips would be very appreciated!

yeah it's tough but...

you are better off pursuing this path on your own. He will join you when he joins you. By being cooler and having longer sex with no orgasm you can start building on those feelings and connection that you yearn for and you can have it. Without having to pressure him. I don't think that pressure is ever a good idea, tempting though it is.

I would simply not come, and when he tries to increase sexual intensity, have him slow down...avoid a lot of clitoral stimulation...avoid accepting oral sex, avoid his manual stimulation of your pussy...you want to have a lot of cuddling and intercourse in positions that are not overly stimulating.

it will take you some time to regain your sensitivity and the more you can focus your attention on your vagina and just keep your attention there, focused on that, opening up to him, taking him in, just focusing there all the time, the more sensation you will feel and the greater the connection you will feel. You can meditate on this focus as often as possible and get really good at it.

You can draw sensation and pleasure up into your whole body and have the most amazing sex. And you go slow, so he lasts a lot longer...and at some point he may decide to not orgasm for awhile. 


when to start?

We started With bonding behaviors which always led to sex, but we held off orgasm me for almost four weeks then him just over two weeks. This has really opened him up to the idea of wanting to really give karezza a sincere try. I am just a little confused on when we should start the exchanges. Should we wait until we are out of the passion cycle, and then start? Or would we be able to start a day or two after having orgasms?

womens' orgasms

I have practiced this for about five years and am now able to control my orgasms almost entirely. It has been wonderful for my partner, who climaxes over and over again every time we make love. Contrary to the Karezza theory, that does not diminish her desire or enjoyment whatsoever, even though it clearly does for me. On the contrary, because she knows it will always be good for her, her sex drive and enjoyment are high. I am an older guy, so infrequent orgasms help me to maintain my capacity and desire. This "modified Karezza" has been wonderful. She has all the orgasms she desires, and I am pleased to "give" them to her.

orgasms, messenger substances in the male body

For my part, beeing karezza- male, of course I prefer not to have an orgasm too often.
But my wife, beeing much younger, sometimes does not want to slow down, so it happens to me too.
But, never mind! If you are a man, and always practicing long sessions "riding the wave" , you have aquired such a high level of messengers and hormones in your body, that you do not fall into the usual state of fatigue which happens to a man not karrezzing. Even if orgasm "happens" once or twice a week. While we have sex every day.
It is the constant high level of the messenger substances that make you feel like beeing "high" all the time.
The man can maintain this state, even if his darling has several orgasms. If she wants.

In this I do not agree with some comments who said here, that they "spare" two weeks without uniting. This is not what I understand of a healthy life.
Because: prostate health is highly dependent of frequent excitation. I did not know 60 years ago when I began "karezza", but many scientists do know to-day.

Of course the man does have to organize many things and details around his house and also his life
Do it!