Sunday 22 July
I haven't posted or written for two weeks. Several things i guess, one there was little to write about. Two i really needed to focus on much neglected work. But the real kicker was that it just hurt too much to think about sexuality with her being away. Tuning the whole thing out made it easier. Or so i thought.
I did get to have a wonderful 4 day trip away with the lad, hiking in the mountains. One of the interesting things about that was that the blue balls that had started to reappear after my first slipup disappeared the moment the vigorous exercise started.
But after he went home to his mothers, i had a crisis of sorts, feeling really alone. It didnt help that at the airport bookshop was this walking porn on two legs. I couldn't see her face, but she was most definitely filled out in all the right places, and wearing the most ridiculously attention getting outfit imaginable. Black lycra tights and a bright pink bikini top. Sheepskin boots and a sort of fur thing over her shoulders, which kept falling off. I mean the weather was cold out, and when i finally saw her face it was clear she wasnt a day over 16. Just a child. But that i couldn't take my eyes off her annoyed me and really upset me the power she had over me. I literally just stood there are stared.
All things considered it was no surprise to me that a day or two later, on day 61/14, that i slipped and MOed. Then again the following day, although that was less about desire than to finish it off as the tension hadn't gone from the day before. They were an odd pair of orgasms, the first more ejaculation and hardly any orgasm, and the second more orgasm and hardly any ejaculation. Neither really pleasurable, but after that i felt done. And i finally got a full weeks peace to get some productive work done without cravings.
But the good news is that the separation from my beloved is into its final week.
Yesterday after an uneventful two day work trip i met her at the airport, i was aware of heightened emotions kicking back in as it seems to after the first week without O. Then meeting her at the airport was strangely calm, no tears, and it took a few hours for each other to stop feeling like a stranger. But then as our eye contact time started to clock up, the smiles restarted and our rebonding seems well under way.
Then about 4 hours in, i become aware that we aren't touching at all and suggest a snuggle, and afternoon nap. We are both tired, and we doze for several hours in each others arms. All is right in the world. Dinner out and early to bed, where she slips immediately into a jet lag induced coma.
Her period started on the plane and as a result i have a layer of armor up, as she's unlikely to want sex until next weekend now. I try to forget about it and just be with her, but its really hard. Of course im at day 7, so utterly not to be trusted. I toss and turn for ages and wake and rise at 4 having resolved to start writing again.
Day 70 PM0:0,12,4, Post O Me/her:8 days/69days, POST PVI/Other: 28 days/28 days , Menstrual day 2.