In the last 5 or 6 months that I have followed this site I noticed that the topics for posts tend to go in bunches. Because of the “bunch effect” my perception may be skewed—that is partially why I am asking the following question.
In my observation it seems that the guys in a relationship are more on board with Karezza and withholding orgasms than the women are. This isn’t always the case obviously but it just seems that more men say their female partners are still orgasmic.
This summer living with my girlfriend afforded us a lot more time together to practice Karezza, which she originally initiated. While we have done pretty well with it, she seems to have more trouble stopping short of an orgasm than I do. Right now I am at about a month without an orgasm and she normally averages about a week, occasionally less. Sometimes she just slides over the edge and other times she says she just needs one and goes for it. We have a “no fault orgasm policy” so whatever happens it’s all cool.
When I get heated up I slow down or stop thrusting a bit to gain control and then can start back up pretty easily. But my girlfriend said that even if I stop dead for a couple minutes or so she doesn’t seem to cool off much at all. Something that we tried if we really got heated up is to lay side by side, with me still inside her, and kiss. That usually moves on to caressing her breasts which are normally pretty sensitive. We did this a little over a week ago and when I started thrusting again she went right over the edge. My girlfriend said that she still felt the sensation of my penis inside of her even if I wasn’t thrusting and the other things I did just brought her to a boil. She said on the upside it was a terrific orgasm—I was happy about that part at least.
We have a few theories but we wanted to know if this is a real phenomenon that others are experiencing. Also maybe some suggestions how other couples handle it; slow down more, go with it, whatever. I really don’t mind her having an orgasm if she wants to have one, but would like to help her slow down if that is what she wants to do. Your comments would be appreciated.