I pretty much gave up all Caffeine products 20 months ago when I started my PMO-Free Journey. On occasion I would drink a diet coke and the effects of caffeine were rather apparent. I became so sensitive to caffeine that a diet pepsi at 9 in the morning would make it difficult for me to fall asleep 14 hours later. When Spring semester ended 2 months ago I started a little caffeine binge. First it was a coke, then it became 3-5 cokes a day. Soon Cokes did not even phase me. I started drinking Monster and Rockstar drinks. Then 2-4 Energy drinks a day. It got to the point where I become extremely lethargic and lazy at work if I wasn't drinking on a Starbucks or Energy drink at all time ( I work in construction.)
So I gave up Caffeine again 3 days ago. I was wasting an easy 5-8 dollars a day. And for what? I ended up with less energy then I would have if I just went all natural. I have been having major headaches and a feeling of complete lazyness. Soon this caffeine crash will end. I think Caffeine is ok if the usage is kept to a minimum. Why I have such an addictive personality I will never know. Marijuana, Porn, Masturbation, Video games, Meth, Orgasm, Nicotine, Alcohol and even Caffeine... over-came most of those compulsions years ago ( PMO and Caffeine is a work in progress.) If only there was a way to use this addictive personality for some good. I am a compulsive gym rat and I study for school like there is no tomorrow but is there more? I feel like I was born with an addictive brain and was set up to fail.
Anyways... Day 64. I felt like my Anxiety started to come back a little as I continued to indulge on the Monster Drinks and Coffees. Hopefully these feelings of anxiety will be washed away as I depart from my latest favorite crave. Good bye Mochas! Good bye Monster drinks!
P.S. - I always felt like the behavior of rewarding my dopamine through caffeine, candy, chocolates usually leads down a path of relapse. I don't know why this is, but looking back at some of my personal journal posts I notice that I often indulged on an unhealthy eating habit days prior to falling off the wagon.