I am so inspired to share my recovery process! I feel like it is a great way to celebrate our achievements to rebooting.
My anxiety is nowhere to be found, and my pessimism has gone for a holiday - I am praying it won't return.
On my process of my Recovery this is final time I will do this and I am not going to relapse because I have discovered my way to really get rid of my PMO, and to experience Karezza, with or without a partner.
Before I was even into REUNITING I have been trying hard to really stop myself from PMO, I knew then it was just a cycle I went through over and over. However, then I didn't know why I got so addicted to that, when I knew I was destroying myself . But by observing myself, I discovered how much I hated myself, only loving myself when I go PMO. I traced back the roots of why I did not love myself then, not accepting myself, and why I got into this cycle. And by knowing myself more, there I discovered how much I forgot to really take care of myself. I was pessimist about everything, and that when good things come to me, I just consider them as luck, not appreciating the good things offered by life to me.
When I was able to trace the roots of my pessimism, the hardest part was to ACCEPT the things that I found UNACCEPTABLE to me. It was difficult, that I have to admit, that I was sexually harassed. It was too a big a burden to carry. Then I asked myself, WHY CARRY? It was in the past, it won't happen to me, and that it was part of my growth. I feel that my so called BAD PAST made me who I am, but it is also my decision to take these experiences to make me stronger, and face life head-on. Looking back, my pessimism attracted me to the negative things. Most of the time, the guys who wanted to date me happen to be attached. And even my serious first boyfriend happened to be married. WHY is this happening? Because I was so negative, that most people I have same wavelengths to are negative, thus, I attract negative people.
Since last year, I have been trying my very best to be OPTIMIST. I have my relapses to depression, but then with good company, I was able to turn around and become OPTIMISTIC again. With being positive, my mood became light, I forgot about my bad past, I am happier. I am able to appreciate the little blessings of life. Just this morning I was thankful for the good weather, because the air was a bit cold, and was able to sleep well. Being Positive about life and everything, made me see things on a clearer view. I felt everything was possible, and that everything that we seem to not like, we see it not as a bad event, but rather a challenge to make us stronger.
I included the OPTIMISM attitude to my Recovery , because being optimistic made me go way beyond what I expect myself to be. My being positive, gave me no space for anxieties and stresses. And despite temptations, I can totally control how I react to things because I know that everything that is happening, I should react with POSITIVITY.
As you can see in my blog, you notice that everything I write here is with Gratitude, Happiness, and Acceptance, because I know I am not the only person recovering from this, but also I inspire others to take the path that I am taking.
At first, you might seem it difficult to take an OPTIMISTIC point of view, I admit it took me years to fully integrate, and even up to this time, there are pessimistic events that happen, but with our Conscious Effort to see it on POSITIVE note, we can turn our worlds around.
My optimism made me love and accept myself. I did not try to fit in to other's expectations. When I wanted to have my hair done differently, I felt great about it, even if others find it not nice. But because I knew what i wanted, I felt good. To be able to appreciate everything that this life has offered to us, not being enslaved by our past, and to keep ourselves on the present state, to love every experience, the joy of our activities, and to feel our self-acceptance that will make us wonders.
I encourage everyone here, who are undergoing Rebooting or Recovery, to think POSITIVE. Just starting your day with a smile. To be thankful for the soft bed we sleep in. Or the new and exciting day that awaits. And even for waking up to live another day. It is really a refreshing and wonderful feeling to be positive, and I tell you, your day will go HAPPY. And if there are things unexpectedly that you might say ruin your day, refocus on the positive things. Like the good breakfast you have, or the lunch you gonna have, or the nice clothes you are wearing. APPRECIATE everything you have, forget about what you don't have. And it will brighten your outlook.
I hope I have helped, because I know I did.
And that everyone of us can be Recovered.
Thank you everyone