Today is day 26 of no PMO or MO and I am 2 days away from passing my longest re-boot since joining this site! Here is a little update on what has been going on. Also huge news that I am really excited about! After my recent sexual encounter, I had no chaser effect the next day or day after, or today! I have stayed on my re-boot path without any overwhelming PMO cravings!
In my last blog I talked about my interest in the beautiful checker who worked at Safeway. The day after writing that post, I decided to drive down to Safeway and see her a little closer this time. So I went in, grabbed an apple, and went to her check stand to buy it. In front of me was an old man with lots of groceries, so it gave me a good amount of time to just look at her and soak in her beauty and vibe, then finally it was my turn. I assessed her energy and I could tell she was somewhat shy around me, which I hope is because she had an attraction to me as well! As I bought the apple, she asked me if I had any fun plans for the day, and I told her yes, that I was going to the river. After our transaction was finished, I looked her in the eyes and told her "I hope you have a great day," she looked back at me and smiled and I walked out of there confident that I had a chance with her and I would just need to keep going back and buying apples!
A couple nights ago I was scheduled to go to a concert with a friend. Earlier in that day, I met up with a girl that I met on an online dating site. We hung out and talked for a couple hours just getting to know eachother. She was definitely not someone I could see myself in a serious relationship with, but I knew that before I met her. After we got done hanging out, I asked her if she wanted to come back to my place and get sexual (anything to keep away from PMO'ing right?), she said not today and that she would like to know me more. I understood and was totally fine with her answer, so we said goodbye and went our separate ways. Later that night I went to the concert and I got a text from that same girl saying that she wanted to have sex with me and would I pick her up after the concert? By that time I had a few drinks in me and I agreed to pick her up on my way home. After the concert, I met her at her place, picked her up, and took her back to my place. I had been drinking that night, and something really weird happened to me that had never happened before...
When we started getting sexual I could not seem to get hard due to the alcohol, but we were both nude and rubbing against eachother, and I ended up orgasming without even having a hard on, which has never happened to me before. At this point it had been about 3 weeks since I had orgasmed, so I guess it just really wanted to come out. After about 20 minutes of laying there, I got hard and went for round two. I finished, and both orgasms were not very strong at all, so all the hype around sex in my brain did not pay off with this free sexual encounter. Although this sexual encounter was not that great, it taught me alot about my re-boot, so it was more of a learning experience.
The next day I assessed the situation and realized something, alcohol has no benefit for me. I looked back and realized that alcohol brings nothing but problems for me, especially in sexual situations. Alcohol is not even something that I enjoy when I am doing it, and the next day is always grey. Regardless of how much I drink the previous night, weather it is 2 or 8 beers, it is still grey the next day. During this time of re-boot, I have really noticed how much I truly want a beautiful, loving, and caring relationship based off of true friendship. It is what I have wanted all along, but PMO made me forget for a while...