My first step here was eliminating porn, which I've done successfully for about 110 days now. Then I sought to stop masturbating, which was a lot harder to do, although I've been "clean" for about two weeks now from masturbating. Finally, tonight I told my girlfriend I wouldn't be orgasming. She was a little surprised at first, although I had talked about trying Karezza before. So she did have an idea about what it's all about.
My impetus to finally give Karezza a shot with my girlfriend was another one of my orgasm "benders" which I've discussed on here before. I had 11 orgasms in 6 days, and I just felt like crap. I wasn't sleeping, I had that sorta tired, unmotivated, blah feeling. My attitude toward my girlfriend was one of total indifference. HOCD was bad again, and really bothering me.
So tonight we gave it a shot. It was fantastic, and she loved it, which is a relief to me. We went slow, tried a variety of positions, and just enjoyed ourselves in a very relaxed and sensual way. I was a little surprised at how I was able to keep from orgasming and just find a "zone" where I felt good and not like I was escalating. I sorta went back and forth from this really intense NEED for her, and then settling back down into just enjoying the sensations. I was really surprised to look at the clock and discover we'd been doing it for almost an hour. I really didn't notice time fly by.
Right afterward we went to dinner with a couple friends of ours. In the car on the way, we were so touchy and amorous. We were both just feeling "WOW" about the whole experience. I felt fantastic. I was quick witted, charming, focused at dinner. I just felt "on my game." My social anxiety and feeling of social awkwardness were very low. I felt confident.
We came home and cuddled for about another 30 minutes before she had to go home. I showed her the "orgasm v. performance" video that Marina posted and she was very intrigued by it. I was hesitant to change our love-making style, and worried about how she would react to it, if she would like it as much. But her response has been great, she seemed to really really enjoy it.
I realize maybe this is a placebo effect, or maybe I can't expect this kind of success in the future. But it was a really great first experience, and it has given me a lot of confidence to keep going with it. One of the most important factors being that my girlfriend was really happy with our first foray into it.
Many thanks to Marina and everyone on this site for contributing positively to my life.