Can't get hard anymore. Don't get aroused as easily.

Submitted by batusi on
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I came across this site after doing some research on the problem that I have been having recently.
I am in my early 30's, physically fit...also a virgin. I have masturbated while looking at porn for many years and never thought anything about it, I just enjoyed it, but recently 2months ago, I've had little desire to look at porn neither to masturbate.. My new gf and I have started becoming intimate, I love her body a lot, but I can't get aroused at all, even when we make out.
She gave me a bj, i couldn't even get it hard enough, she tried to help. I want to enjoy it, but it feels like nothing, as if all the sensation is gone as well as the pleasure. In the past I would get so hard with just one touch. I have never had this problem before in my life. I am wondering if I broke a nerve or something. Last year I masturbated at least 5 times a week.
But now I don't even feel like masturbating. It's been 10 days without, not seeing any difference yet in my erections. My plan is to stop porn and masturbation for the next 3 months as I've read that it may take that long to reboot the brain. I already exercise daily, I would try to do more strength training, eat healthier. I love my gf very much and I am doing this for her as well. So I am taking things even further and plan to stop things that desensitize me, like playing video games, watching movies, I am deactivating my fb account, I would focus more on work, and my studies instead, and the real world. . I will provide weekly progress reports on my endeavor.


Sounds like a good plan

Affectionate contact with your girlfriend (daily if possible) can help a lot. Maybe she would find this article useful: Boyfriend Quitting Porn? 5 Tips

You are not alone, as you realized. Too much stimulation causes brain changes that can be tough to reverse. It sounds like you know what you need to do.

If you want to understand more about how this problem can sneak up on a guy:

Why Shouldn’t Johnny Watch Porn If He Likes? (The brain changes naturally as people reach adulthood in their early 20s.)

Are Porn Tube Sites Causing Erectile Dysfunction? (Intense stimulation can cause servere problems that less intense stimulation didn't.)

Here's another good forum for this issue: YOURBRAINREBALANCED.COM

Looking forward to your reports.

Batusi - your problem sounds

Batusi - your problem sounds similar to mine 2 years back. I masturbated heavily without porn but in prone position from age 14-30 and never craved girlfriends.

When I did actually have girlfriends, I used to make out with them and then go home and fap not realizing I had a serious problem. I was so addicted to fapping, that I never went on trips with friends because I thought I couldnt sleep without fapping.

Then I ended up in a sexless relationship. I couldn't get hard to my gf even though I used to masturbate thinking about her. Even when I did get erection, it barely lasted few minutes and I never came. Finally we broke up as she thought I wasnt attracted to her.

That made me do some research now things are totally different. Progress is slow and gradual, but WILL happen.

Just focus on the process goals i.e. reduced fap, working out etc and dont worry about the results. They will happen eventually.


I used to fondle myself (still do ) but not to get hard, just to calm me down and put me to sleep. I suppose it gives you a slight dopamine burst, but not enough to get a hardon or edge.

I've been there

Your situation happened to be a couple years ago, and it gradually got better as I gradually backed off from the PMO.

It wasn't until I found this website that I kinda connected the dots. But you are on the right track here, just remember the key: it's going to take a little while.

Think of how many years you've PMOed 5 times a week. All that isn't going to be reversed in 10 days. So just relax, and give it awhile. It will be worth it. Don't test yourself, just let it come.

From my experience any kind of real-life physical intimacy is helpful, but don't put pressure on yourself. If you're passionately kissing your girlfriend and you aren't getting an erection, don't worry about it. Just enjoy the kissing, and touching.

You'll get there.



I feel no need to look at porn whatsoever. my penis is still not hard, but it is harder than before. I am becoming more attracted to sexy women. its a good thing my gf is not sexually active with me as yet.