New goal

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After my euphoria after having survived the weekend I relapsed on monday...

The thing is though... I had to. I couldn't concentrate, I was very nervous, irritable and agitaded. I couldn't get any work done, and I have a few very important projects going on at the moment (looking for a new job, renovating a house...) that cannot be put on hold. On top of that I had become a very annoying guy to live with. After a week of no PMO I become a genuin prick. I become very irritable, get angry at my parents for no reason and I feel like I want to punch people in the face for no apparent reason...

Therefore, I have set a new goal. My previous goal was: No-PMO for 100 days. This turned out to be very difficult and, as another member on this forum has pointed out, it is not very sustainable. What after those 100 days? So, I have set a new goal for myself. MO once a month. Without P however (that I do want to quit forever).

Now, I still don't know whether I should change my strategy as well. Do I start this right away (no PMO for a month) or do I build it up (one week no-PMO, than two weeks, ...)? I know the latter is not the reuniting way but, I really don't like myself after a week of no-PMO...


You might find this radio show

interesting. How to cope with porn cues and triggers (show 21)

The theory is that the cravings only get worse for about two weeks. At that point, if you an adapt to higher levels of sexual "charge" you'll be fine. It's the (false) belief that the cravings are just going to get worse and worse that make relapse seem so logical.

It's up to you what to do. If you're not suffereing from ED/DE, then a, weekly (or whatever) masturbation schedule might work for you.

If you relapsed to porn...then try it with masturbation alone next time. You can't possibly "need" porn. Your ancestors didn't have it and got along OK. If you can't masturbate without it then you don't really need to orgasm. I know it's hard to see this, but think about it. Wink


Tnx Marnia, I just listened to it. What I like about this interview (and YBOP and this site) is that it really explains on a scientific level what is going on in my brain. Simply knowing what's going on makes it already a bit easier...

I have been thinking about it today and I think I am going to try and go for the cold-turkey way...

Whatever path you choose

it's good to keep a sense of humor. As I often say, our sexuality has to be coaxed; it can't be bludgeoned.

I just saw this quotation from Mark Twain, which I really liked:

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.