(Rachel) As for oral sex, I have come to learn (through Diana Richardson's wonderful books) that for a woman, the way to open her up sexually is through her breasts, not her clitoris (and this has been such an affirmation of how I have always felt). When you put too much attention on the clitoris, it actually causes the vagina to contract, not relax and become welcoming. She says if you *are* going to direct attention to that area, it is much better to do it after things have already warmed up, so to speak.
My lover has never been one to be goal-oriented about making me orgasm through oral sex (thank goodness). He just likes to look around and taste and play around down there and does it in a very slow, sensual way that I love.
As for him, I have had to slow down my "play" with his penis because he is now so very sensitive (through wonderful karezza). My goal is not to bring him to orgasm (but this is not to say there hasn't been a quickie now and then with that goal--we aren't a "perfect" karezza couple, lol). Now I mainly try to lavish love upon him through my touch (mostly) and mouth (sometimes--but not as much as before because it is so very stimulating).
Once you start practicing karezza, you will find that you'd rather be connected "PVI" [penile-vaginal intercourse] than anything else~~the other stuff is still nice, but just not as wonderful as being "plugged in."
(Darryl) We really moved away from oral sex. Once i stopped orgasming it became clear to the both of us that all the enjoyment and energy was between the penis and vagina. So other forms of sexual interaction simply fell away. I think you will find your penis, and especially her vagina, will become much more sensitive.
It's like the vagina wakes up and becomes alive in a new wonderful way. My lover calls to me with her body, her vagina, her being. When I hear this I cannot resist. The "calling" beckons to the "sending". When the calling is clearly heard erections will happen. The "noise" of strong friction sex can drown out the quieter, but quite powerful "calling" energy. Once there is more space the sweet music of feminine reception/calling will become louder and can be quite intoxicating. Sometimes my wife's mere presence when she walks in the room will make me hard, and she likes that.
Do what you need to do to maintain control but I would move away from highly stimulating stuff. Remember, all this will take time. Figure a good six months to really get into a consistent flow. It's a great journey. Enjoy the ride, even when you fall off.
(Quizure) I really enjoying giving this way, but we've found that if we use it during a session which includes Karezza intercourse, it almost always leads to my partner have a 'sneaker' orgasm. In fact, I'm positive that every time we've tried it, that has been the outcome. The times we've done it without intercourse, he complained of being horny afterwards. So for us, it's not something we've found to be beneficial at this point in our journey.
(emerson) As an aside, really, interestingly, oral sex is much less interesting to me now than it used to be. Dunno why. We are practicing Karezza and oral sex just doesn't have an attraction anymore. Some would say that it's all energy states, the positive penis and the negative polarity vagina channel energy which oral sex does not. Not sure. But I am not really that interested in giving or getting oral sex as I used to be even 6 weeks ago.