I don't have very much to report. I'm still experiencing brain fog, a lot of anger, dopamine spikes, etc. On the bright side, I've stopped testing on the internet completely for about 15 days. In turn, it's brought my testing away from the internet down to practically nil, or at worst, a couple of minutes a day max.
We've practiced some karezza, which was very good for us at times. I intend to keep going on this path, though it can be risky because of ejaculation - and I'm just learning to navigate the waters here. Part of the risk is trying to stay present and enjoying it, instead of not knowing whether I'm fantasizing about other girls or testing to other gay-related things while doing it, rather than enjoying her company.
On day 25, I accidentally ejaculated while practicing karezza (I'm tender from the reboot and inexperienced in this), and I felt ok for a few days, with no chaser, but then I saw her computer screen and got a crazy flashback on day 27, and I'm still recovering from the effects of it. It was horrible. I want this all to go away. I hope I didn't kill too much of my reboot with this. And I've had no desire for her lately or any other girls, and dopamine spikes to boys, which is really hell. I want my life back.
We've been also practicing non-intercourse snuggling, which might be wise at times. I just thought it would be the right thing to do on day 25, and maybe I was wrong.
I'll give another update in no less than another week, to give myself more space to recover.
Also, can pre-ejaculate make a girl pregnant?