Chia's book, trials, mood swings, energy, orgasms

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So i just felt like writing about what's been going on with me. It's been a while since i've last posted. I just want to communicate with others that may have experienced difficulties like mine, are experiencing them currently, or can help me out. I've been finding it quite difficult to go down this untraditional path when everyone around me is doing quite the opposite.

A few things :

- I broke up with my gf, but we got back together a few days later. Relationship has been stronger since then

- I've been trying the energy draw technique from Mantak Chia's book the multi orgasmic man. But two problems
1. I find that I can't do it when i'm being intimate with my gf.
2. During any other situation, i can usually bounce energy from my pelvis up to my head. I'm having a hard time bringing it down the front of my body. It's mostly either in my head or my pelvis.
3. Might be weird, but before i've experimented with Chia's technique, i think I was unintentionally doing it everytime I urinated, just as I was finished. Which might explain why urinating would be pleasurable for me. Anyone experience this ?

- I've stopped thinking that ejaculating and orgasms and looking at other women is the end of the world. I've been looking at more women on instagram, especially sexual photos. In the beginning, they would really turn me on, recently, not as much and I'm feeling more attracted to my gf.

- During sex or oral would try to hold back the cum using the finger lock method outlined in the book, or just sense it, but if its too late I'm just letting it be and enjoying it. I'm realizing that I won't be able to practice lasting longer if I'm not willing to screw up and cum a few times. I've probably ejaculated in the last month 3-4x what I have in the last year and half .

- I've noticed that w/ using the finger lock method, i can prevent some cum from leaving my body which lessons the aftereffects of the orgasm.

- Sometimes after I've ejaculated, instead of wanting to be away from my gf, i would feel like i'm in love with her more and just want to embrace her. Can anyone explain this ?

- I've only been able to last a few minutes during intercourse only once I've ejaculated at least once. After 2x I've lasted the longest so far. It's pretty annoying but hopefully I can last long from the first round soon.

- Not feeling much pleasure from oral sex or intercourse. recently my gf stroked my penis while it was lubricated and that gave me a lot of pleasure. Why is it that I get so much pleasure from a hand job and not much from oral sex or intercourse ?

- I've been experiencing a LOT of Mood changes and depressive thoughts recently though. I'm really hating my university studies.

If this is TLDR ( too long didn't read ) here's a quick summary :
- looking at sexual pictures of women and ejaculating is no longer the end of the world . but am i getting desensitized?
- won't last for a few minutes unless i cum at least once, twice is better
- no pleasure from oral or vaginal sex . why ?
- the less i ejaculate the less effects i feel from a hangover. anyone else ? (finger lock method)
- hard time circulating energy down the body from the head. help ?



I'm sure the men here can give you more input

I'll just say that I'm glad you're feeling more attracted to your GF. Sometimes orgasm had that effect on me, too, in the short-term. In the long run, though, it always altered my "reactivity," and too often my perception of my partner, for the worse. Just keep observing.

You may have an ideal ejaculation schedule. Did you read this? Men: Does Frequent Ejaculation Cause A Hangover? | Your Brain On Porn The ideal schedule changes with season and age according to the Daoists, so careful self-observation is essential.

Karezza tends to shift the pleasure focus to intercourse. But usually it's because of the "Goldilocks principle." That is, it's "just right" - not too much or too little stimulation.

I've heard from other guys that the 3-finger method also reduced the neurochemical fallout from some degree. Maybe it cuts the "buzz" a bit short??

Maybe give the attempts to circulate a rest for a bit and try again in the future. Sometimes blocks have to clear. Also, those techniques don't work for everyone, so don't get too attached to them. The body continues to unblock things automatically with this approach. This might be worth reading:


What do you mean by that it

What do you mean by that it altered your "reactivity" ?
For the past while with us participating in conventional sex practices, in addition to feeling more attracted to her nonsexually, I desire her sexually a lot more. I might grab her butt here and there when we're out, spank her butt, tease her with neck kisses, soft bites, fondle her etc. She's been doing that to me recently more frequently as well. Right now, we're both enjoying that, but I'm not sure if it's a good thing. Thoughts ?

The idea of an ideal ejaculation schedule seems interesting. I read the article you linked to and although it was nice to read, it didn't talk about ejaculation schedules.

Yea with the finger lock i've found that the less semen i allow myself to lose during an ejaculation, the more sexual energy I can hold onto. But the less pleasure i receive from the ejaculation of course.

The neotaoism and karezza article was quite interesting to read. Thank you for sharing that. It's something that I'll definitely read again later on. Right now I'm focussing on prolonging intercourse for as long as I can, no matter how many ejaculations I have. I feel like unless I get that out of the way and can successfully last long on the first try,

Ever heard of David Deida by the way ? Just read two of his books "The Enlightened Sex Manual " and "The Way of the Superior Man ". They really helped me gain a better understanding of the interplay between masculine and feminine energies within each person and how they can be applied during sex.


By "reactive" I mean over-sensitive and inclined to snap at my partner. Mamba

Yes, I know that article wasn't about schedules directly, but it shows the importance of working with your biology.

Each couple has to work out for themselves what feels good. I'm not a huge Deida fan because he ignores the impact of too much orgasm on women...but if his approach works for you, go for it!

some ideas

this is TLDR ( too long didn't read ) here's a quick summary :
- looking at sexual pictures of women and ejaculating is no longer the end of the world . but am i getting desensitized

Get over the woman as sex object.. Focus on feelings and the energy between you and gf

- won't last for a few minutes unless i cum at least once, twice is better

You control the movement. Practice single cultivation as described by mantak.

- no pleasure from oral or vaginal sex . why ?

Anxiety. Once you practice and gain confidence anxiety lessons.

- the less i ejaculate the less effects i feel from a hangover. anyone else ? (finger lock method)

Right, the less you ejact the better.
- hard time circulating energy down the body from the head. help ?

Learn how to circulate energy in the microcosmic orbit using mantaks methods and practices.

Thanks for your reply taoman

Thanks for your reply taoman . It's much appreciated.

i want to clarify that i'm not looking at sexual pictures of women to ejaculate. I look to admire. I admire my gf the most, but I don't think that I shouldn't admire other women's bodies. I think demonizing looking at other women doesn't help. But maybe I'm wrong. Once I quit porn a bit more than a year ago, i pretty much stopped objectifying women. Thoughts ?

Anxiety about what ? I don't think i'm anxious during oral sex at all. I just breath deep and relax as much as I can. I don't feel so much if she's licking my penis but I get a bit of sensation if she's sucking, and more if she lightly strokes. Rough strokes aren't really pleasurable. Sensation in my testicles and perineum is not a problem at all.

What's weird is that once i ejaculate, i can actually feel her licks and sucks a LOT more. But it can often be way too sensitive to the point that I don't want her to do anything at all.

I'm sure you're right about me being anxious during intercourse. The 9 shallow 1 deep stroke method helps.

Are you talking about mantak's methods in his book the multiorgasmic man ? any specific ones that you've found to be helpful so I can go right to them ?

You are wrong

Looking at pictures of other women causes desensization and unhappiness. The brain wants its dopamine fix so it rationalizes it. It plain isn't good to do. 

i think the more control

You develop with your sexual energy then the more you see that porno and looking at pics for sexual stimulation is a totally useless activity. At the same time I think you can be attracted to all females and appreciate all beauty without any kind of action required.

Thank you both for the book

Thank you both for the book suggestions. I'll definitely check them out.

Yea my goal is really just to be able to be appreciate all beauty that comes across me. I don't want to glance away or avoid looking at other people, I want the act of looking at people whether they have clothing on or not to be normal. I don't want to sexualize body parts.

I think I've kind of gone through the extremes of avoiding looking at women and seeking them out. Now I'm trying to find the balance.