my name's Daniel (31) and my ex girlfriend is Katie (28). I live in Belfast, Ireland. Katie now lives and works in London. We were together from 4.5 years until 2008 and broke apart as a result of what I could now describe as sexual satiety and the withdrawl mechanism. Near the end I recall I used pornography as my preferred sexual release; and following our mutual break-up I began to fantasise about bedding other women - a lot of them! (That being said, I deeply mourned the loss of our relationship for almost 3 years, and certainly didn't morph into the Don Juan I imagined)
Still then we have stayed in contact, growing closer again as time went by (she called me every day for a week when my brother died) and while she had another long term relationship in the interim it ended about 2-3 years ago. Lately we have made a point of bonding and enjoy each others company whenever she returns home to visit her family. (Gigs, drinks out, nights in.) In fact often her long weekends pivot around the time we arrange to spend together.
I writing this on the eve of the eve of my travelling to London to see her, go to a concert, go site seeing, dining etc and staying in her apartment on Saturday night (as opposed to finding alternative accommodation). I am filled with anticipation and trepidation about this moment to express my deep feelings for her and my wish to reunite someway, somehow. At the very least I must take a chance to communicate my love for her - before she inevitably finds a partner and commits to him - potentially forever :(
I had a conversation with Katie before Christmas not long after reading "Cupids Poisoned Arrow" and explained a bit about the book. She seemed intrigued by idea I presented that perhaps the average longterm relationship is 4.5 years (her second relationship lasted roughly the same length of time) given that it's the age at which a child is able to function independently without the necessity for two care givers... I also spoke a bit about sexual satiety and it's effects. I'm not sure but she might find the book illuminating. If nothing else it offers her a fresh perspective on the subtle undercurrents of a modern relationship - which are hard enough before you consider being a professional in London.
But what do you think? I should visit her, give her the book to read and share something of how I imagine us being together? I want to show her Love like we have known when we have hugged and held one another in long embrace these past few occasions. I want to be Reunited in harmony with her if she should reciprocate my feelings and wishes to explore a new kind of loving relationship. Slowly over the course of weeks and months... united again. This time for as long as we both shall live.
This brings me to my other Big issue: Unless I can move over to London and find work there to be with her how else can we kindle a Karezza based romance when unavailable to practise the daily bonding behaviours that are said to be so vital? I know what it's like having long distance phone calls from when she studied in England. It's almost impossible to convey the reassurances that comes naturally with physical presence. I think if she is interested at all I will need to up sticks and move to London as soon as possible, as rash and impulsively romantic as that may seem to some. Not so rash given the fact that we've talked about going on holiday to Seattle. How would that fit with having other boyfriends/girlfriends?!
Thank you for reading. Your advice, support or frank criticisms would be much appreciated at this time.