♥ Struggling (Karezza and Porn Recovery)

Submitted by Telepathy on
Printer-friendly version

I've moved in with a woman I met on Craigslist who responded to an ad I placed seeking a karezza partner. We've been together for over three months. The last two days I've ejaculated while watching porn, and I've returned to this site to tell on myself, as well as to seek counsel on how to address my (karezza) relationship with my partner. I recall Marnia suggesting that one should not expect perfection (the ideal mate) in a karezza partner. I love my partner, but I am not *in love* with her, if that makes sense. I feel deeply for her emotionally. She has helped me enormously in many ways. Our relationship is many faceted, and we work together on business/service issues. It's not a *typical* romance. I don't want to spiral downward into a morass of porn addiction. I don't know what else to say right now, except that I could really use some help. If my account has prompted any questions/thoughts for you, please share them with me and help me get my healing/recovery process underway.

Topic:

Comments

ummmm....

lay off the porn? Isn't it real simple?

Have you figured out why you are relapsing to porn?

I think you have to own the fact that you can't use porn ever, at all, period. You've made great progress, tremendous, and this is just a blip.

Yes, chaser;

overheating sexually? Not sure. Seems to be dopamine regulation issues going on for me; coffee addiction is back, for example. There is an escapist dynamic going on for me as well. Sorry if this is vague.

I suspect

more daily bonding is needed; 30 minutes to an hour as you mention would be a big help. Yes, I will intend to do this daily, thanks for the idea/reminder!

Didn't look at porn

today; and spent at least a half hour (probably more) massaging my partner; that was a big help, and helped ground me and take my mind away from the illusory world of porn.

it's very satiating

The more bonding that I do, the more I feel like bonding and the closer I feel to my partner. Even without sex it's incredibly satisfying. I think if guys do this a lot more they won't be likely to PMO during reboot :)