Sorry if I seem to be repeating myself but this is important and I appreciate your reading and commenting.
We are on post-O day 12 for Sparkles. Definite ripples...she had trouble sleeping and was especially unhappy with my lovie dubbie needy behavior today :)
She said, "you don't understand. I don't have much of a sex drive."
So we discussed. (I have been very upbeat and never shown a trace of frustration if she doesn't want to have sex with me although I am always ready. She admitted this.)
My frustration is that she isn't "there" when we have sex. And never really has been, when I think about it.
I believe that after post-O, if we continue having snuggling and bonding, she will develop much stronger feelings and will be more likely to want to be "there".
She said, what if she doesn't develop stronger feelings? What if she doesn't have much of a libido?
I don't have an answer for that one except, she will.
I've read past posts here from Karezza couples. I know it is common for one or the other in any relationship, Karezza or not, to have a different sex drive.
Her enthusiasm is for nature and stuff like that. She has never had great enthusiasm in our lovemaking.
Our lovemaking in the past:
1. Kiss and hug a bit
2. I give her oral and she has an orgasm.
3. Intercourse and I have an orgasm or if we had sex the day before, I masturbate to orgasm.
It is physically intimate but not really making a connection.
So now I feel very, very different. I have completely different and strong feelings for her. And I am hoping she catches up to some degree.
Darryl has said that I am "over sexed" and she is "under sexed" in a way and I agree. I guess we'll get more in sync as we go. This all takes time. That's what I told her. And I also said, once she's in week 3 post-O it will look different.
But will it really? I'd hate to feel the way I do and have her remain kind of dispassionate and regarding my adoration of her as kind of a nuisance. Just looking for reassurance. I realize nobody knows the answers, but your experience counts for a lot. And hopefully in the future someone else reading my account of my experience will help them make that transition with their partner.