Am I gay because of porn?

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Submitted by Shadowking58 on
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Hello, I'm a straight male who suffers from porn addiction, porn induced HOCD, and general unenjoyment of life.

Anything I used to enjoy doing the feeling is now lost because my brain is always instinctively porn even though I don't think about porn.

Here's the thing though, when I think about the guys in porn (straight or gay porn) I start getting nervous and sometimes aroused. However, in real life if I think of myself in a genuine male/male relationship (kissing, sex, etc.) none of that is appealing, arousing, or exciting to me at all, and when I think of women I genuinely enjoy the thoughts but when the thoughts about guys come in which is usually 3+ hours each day because of the porn hocd, I find them intrusive, not pleasant, and generally annoying. It even interrupts what I'm doing. For example, one day I was in school working on a construction project, (cardboard house) and then the thoughts popped into my head and I couldn't focus on the project anymore, along with the usual feelings I mentioned before.

Am I gay? Does this sound like someone's who's gay to you? I desire to raise a family with a women, and my dreams are almost always about women.

I know I'm posting too much but I rarely get any peaceful days where I don't think or worry about this

Can you follow this link?

Exposure Therapy for HOCD? | Your Brain On Porn

After you read it, I think you'll know what you need to do.

It also helps to read the recovery stories on this page: I'm straight, but attracted to transexual or gay porn. What's up? | Your Brain On Porn

Unfortunately, after that, the best thing you can do is stay off of all porn and stop analyzing and testing. Within a few months things will be a lot clearer.

Please note that there are studies showing that anxiety increases sexual arousal. So you may not be feeling genuine attraction even if your genitals twitch when you get anxious. It's confusing...until you understand the science better.

Withdrawal can be brutal: http://yourbrainonporn.com/content/15-years-misery-gone