I know I have posted here and asked for help many times. And I know I've posted similar things. But I need help again. More like I need encouragements.Thank you in advance.
I have been doing no PMO for 120 days. I have watched porn 1 time during this reboot but no O.
The thing is, I have read so many rebooting accounts and with most of them they recover within 90days. Even when they say they were really addicted to porn and was a heavy user since very young, they recover less than 120 days. I haven't read any full recovery story taking more than 120days.
Now, I'm past day 125. Not perfectly strict because there was 1 time I watched porn (without O), but other than that I have been very strict. I have a social life, female friends, no smoking, only occasional drinking etc. I have no major disease/health issues. It is only recently but I gradually started exercise.
Yet I am recovering very slow to say the least. I still don't have libido, self massage only gives me a slight erection (more like getting a bit bigger than getting an erection). Morning wood only occasionally. No spontaneous erection.
I don't crave for porn but I feel as if I even lost my "libido" to porn. I know this is a good thing, but I miss that "aroused" feeling.
Now, I don't want to give up, but what I need is hope and encouragements. By these I mean I want to read someone's account of full recovery after 120days or more. I want to know some guys actually struggled after passing day 120 but they finally recovered fully.
In the beginning I was encouraged by the accounts here saying it took them 60 days or 90 days. I thought, well I can do it, 90 days is no problem. I was full of hope.
But now, I have passed 120 days(125 days) and haven't recovered.
I'm still struggling with only a little progress and I just need to know, for example, that there is someone who actually recovered fully after 150 days although they didn't see big progress until day120.
Have you read any recovery accounts, or has anyone experienced recovery after 120 days?
Thank you for your help.
*My ED issue started when I was very young(22), I thought it was due to performance anxiety. I am 36 now.
*I started watching porn when I was 15. High Speed Internet came when I was 24
*I was able to have sex with several partners before but I was always "weak"
*My ex and I dated almost 8years and broke up late last year(we lived together). First 3 or 4 years we had a lot of sex but I was weak and sometimes we only had oral sex.But My libido was there and was able to have orgasm multiple times (my penis became hard just before I had an orgasm).
*We became "sexless" last 3 years and I totally relied on porn.
*Since I started masturbating I always used my hand while watching porn (or whatever I used) and thought it was natural.
*I really used all kinds of porn - fetish, S&M, violence, all ethnic girls,sex party stuff, etc.etc.
*I didn't even get an erection unless I touch myself. Sometimes I had an orgasm with my penis less than half erected.
Now looking back, I can see I was really addicted to porn and I wouldn't be surprised it would take more time. But, again, I read other accounts where they were as addicted as I was and still fully recovered sooner.