Back to Day 0

Submitted by LifeBackNow on
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Last night, I was with my girlfriend. We had sex, and after that, when I got to my place, I didn't go to sleep, but resorted to my "favorite" habit again. I knew that it would be smart to go straight to bed, and still didn't do it. Today, I wasted the whole day watching porn and masturbating.

There is a video about porn addiction that uses the acronym "BLAST". That stands for "bored, lonely, angry, stressed, tired". Those are the situations where we are most vulnerable to relapsing. I was too tired to resist the urge. That is something that happened to me many times. And I knew that it would happen. I need a lot of work on my will. Now, I feel like sh*t. I feel so confused and tired, and can't concentrate on anything. The worst thing is that I have so much to do, and I'm wasting my time and energy on porn and masturbation.

I'm so tired of being a slave to this habit. Last time I started abstaining, I didn't have any goal, and lasted for 8 days. Today, I'm setting a goal:

100 DAYS WITHOUT PORN AND MASTURBATION!

I will try and use all possible techniques to achieve this. All suggestions are welcome.

Comments

I just want you guys to know

that your willpower is tied to the changes in your brain. Addiction-related changes actually dampen self-control. In other words, it's not a "character defect," but rather an under active frontal cortex. That can change back as you rebalance.

So, don't beat up on yourself. Just do your best to get some days under your belt...so to speak. Plenty of tips here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/uncle-bob-porn-addiction-recovery-tips

Marnia, your comment really opened my eyes!

I always thought that my weak will is the main reason for my addiction, but never thought that it may actually be the other way around! I have just read a little about the effects of addictions on prefrontal cortex and I am amazed! I can't wait to read more, but I am very busy these days.

If I didn't find this site, I probably wouldn't have heard about neuroplasticity, dopamine cycles and all this stuff. It is really great and very encouraging to know how things work and that we can change ourselves. Thank you for that!