Been about two weeks, I keep thinking I've already relapsed.

Submitted by Jake81 on
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In a few hours it will have been exactly 14 days since a binge. I have experienced great feeling for a short time, but I keep thinking I am doing it wrong. I have not looked at porn, and not masturbated. I have also not had a wet dream, probably cause of doing kegels and solo exercises. Most of the time around the end of week 1 I have a wet dream. This is probably the longest I have gone in over half a year without ejaculation, although for the past 5 days straight, I have dreamt of looking at porn, but I always end up waking up, with no release.

I get the feeling that I am doing well but I am also experiencing overwhelming feelings that I am doing it wrong. I have kept fantasies out, but not 100 %. A few times a day I will get a random flashback of certain porn videos I have watched in the past, I get the thought out of my head always, but during that 1 second where it is in my head, it is enough for me to get an erection as well as strong arousal sometimes. When that happens I think that I've ruined my progress. I get a rapid heartbeat, and uncomfortable feeling which I always experience when I actually relapse. Is this part of the withdrawal? Also, a couple of times in the last two weeks I've noticed a little bit of sperm leakage, is this normal? I try not to worry too much about it cause the amount that is released is nowhere near that of a full ejaculation, but still even the slightest thing like that can make me think I've relapsed.

it's the orgasms

I think it's intense orgasms that cause hangovers.

A year after I gave up PMO, I had three intense dream orgasms in one night (no ejaculation or leakage at all). Four days later I had some of the most intense cravings in my life. It was awful.

A couple months later I had a wet dream - ejaculation with a mild orgasm. Next day I felt really relaxed and good, and little or no cravings in the following days.

I've had about a dozen orgasms in the last three years. They happen accidentally, during karezza. When I feel an orgasm coming on, I just stop moving and relax, and don't try to intensify the sensations. The after-effects of such orgasms are pretty mild. So I think intensity has a lot to do with the magnitude of the after-effects. Just as one small drink won't give you a hangover, but many drinks over a few hours will.

Don't beat yourself up for having wet dreams. They just happen sometimes, without your intention. Not much you can do about them.

Relax

You are doing well. You have to keep a loose hand on the reins with this adjustment. You can't browbeat your sexual desire. You have to coax it gently. So stop making yourself wrong.

When you catch yourself fantasizing, just turn your attention elsewhere and keep a sense of humor about your sneaky brain. It's not that it's "wrong" to fantasize...but that it can make your cravings worse. But, so what? It's not a big deal.

Just keep plodding.I-m so happy