Behavior of prolactin without orgasm in HUMANS

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Submitted by FamilyGuy on
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Hi, I have a "research" or "evidence" type question about the passion cycle in women post--sex but without orgasm.

(To put some of the following into context, I am new to karezza, a happily married man, married once, several kids, relationship is good, just looking for something....better)

A few years back, when we were tweaking our sexual relationship, I became a lot more aware of my own feelings and those of my wife. I noticed that she got REALLY crabby/irritable/easily upset after sex. I didn't think about it much until recently, when I suddenly noticed it again. I am sure it has been there, but I became aware of it again.

It usually isn't huge, and I am afraid I didn't notice if it was worst post-orgasm, but it puts us out of sync and she is certainly not interested in sex/bonding again a for at least several days. I started reading about karezza just last week, and after I started, we had traditional sex twice in a couple of days. First time was gentle-ish, second time I was more active but on a scale of 1-5 with 5 being very...."active"....it was probably a 2 or 2.5. I had an orgasm both times, she did not on either occasion.

What happened next surprised me a bit. She was irritable and cranky the day after the 2nd encounter. She even said so. Nothing severe, but enough to make her feel "off". And I finally recognized my own post-orgasm problems to: neediness, kind of desperate need for another orgasm or at least some needy physical contact, brain fog.

So my question is this: Is there any evidence that non-orgasmic sex can cause prolactin excretion in females? Basically, can semi-vigorous sex (or even a "goal" based sexual encounter) cause the passion cycle, even if it is milder than it might be post-orgasm?

I know there is a dearth of research out there on this, and the only reference I could find was to the mice study where "vigorous" sex triggered the cycle in the animals. So maybe this is asking about experiences of anyone out there that could lend credence to the idea that even non-orgasmic sex could result in some form of the "hangover".

This was longer than expected. If you have read to here, thanks for reading!

welcome!

Weirdly enough, in my experience, if one partner orgasms, it can cause ripples in both partners.

And, edging in intercourse or even just edgy cuddling can cause ripple effects with me, if it's done over a few days. 

I try to stay in a zone where I'm not coming really close to coming. That seems to work pretty well.

That rat research

is all I can point you to for now.

Was your wife trying to orgasm? Trying seems to equate with raising dopamine, and if it goes too high without resolution it may sometimes set off ripples.

Was she less cranky after the gentle sex? If so...stick with that for a while.

We, too, notice that either partner's orgasm sometimes effects both. It's a bit eerie actually....

Keep us posted. Explorations like yours are useful for everyone here.

no, not trying to orgasm

[quote=Marnia]is all I can point you to for now.Was your wife trying to orgasm? [/quote]

No, not this time. And she initiated the first time and offered the second when we cuddled, so not sure there was any sense of "duty", but she was offering me orgasm both times.

[quote=Marnia]Was she less cranky after the gentle sex? If so...stick with that for a while.[/quote]

Well, these happened two days in a row, so I am not sure if there was a difference. The first time caught me a little off guard. I had just figured out that I was excited about karezza, and didn't quite have enough control at that moment to do much about it.

[quote=Marnia]Keep us posted. Explorations like yours are useful for everyone here.[/quote]

Will do that. The biggest mistake that I made was gently trying to introduce it when she was a little out of sync (which I didn't realize at the time, being a bit distracted by my own discovery).

I have a laundry list of reasons why I want to try this out, most based on things that I have observed before I found anything out here....where would I post that?

what can I say? :)

Oh I understand that you have to stop, figuring out the best way to handle sex/introduce to wife hadn't happened yet. Some of that is contextual: the trajectory of our sex life had been such that suddenly shutting down would have appeared a little odd (it was not my most differentiated moment).

The first time was literally the morning after I read about karezza....I wasn't quite in the mindset to stop the first one although I tried (halfheartedly, my body ran away with me). I think I will need intercourse with little movement early on to "kick the habit"!

I admit that the second time I went along frankly because I hadn't quite processed everything and wasn't sure that it was the right time to bring it up (i.e. I wussed out). It was "expected" that I would orgasm, so I did to avoid an awkward moment, which in hindsight was probably a bad move.

Now that I have processed things a bit more, I will be avoiding even if offered. Old habits die hard :) I'm not that far behind since these were back to back, but I still need to have "the talk".

Thanks for the input.