Bit of advice and re-assurance would be great! Rebooting flatline

Submitted by aNYthing1994 on
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Hi people!

I'll keep this short because i know everyones circumtances are different and people are Rebooting for different reasons.

My Story is basically this. Started watching porn around the age of 14 but i remember my first masturbation sessions were to like social media pictures of girls etc. Around the age of about 15 i had a sudden outbreak of Homosexual OCD, couldnt get the possible thought of becomming gay out of my head and my Libido plumeted. From this i naively assumed it was because i was having a sexual identity crisis so i turned to Gay porn to answer the question in my head. I spoke to nobody about this for about a year and it caused be considerable distress to the point where i had a breakdown with psychotic symtoms. I am now on a small dose of Rispiredone and have been recovering for the past 2 years. The porn escalated to Trans-porn and anything to give me a kick.

The reboot has gone like this. Started my reboot on the Friday the 27th of september 2013. So i have been rebooting for 165 days. I had 1 orgasm which didnt involve porn or fantasy but i admit it was to early, happened about mid January.

So my questions are these. I am still flatlining, when i go clubbing im always conscious of down below and im very bad with giving of signals because im just not feeling it. But i feel like i need to break through that fear. At work im starting to interact and flirt more with the staff which is a nice feeling and probably a better platform than a busy club to pratice. I'm quite far into my reboot now and im worried that the medication might be having an impact because of the dopamine thing (dopamine antagonist). Also i have been stimulating myself to touch in the bath recently which is causing great results but is this to early? Any advice and reassurance from people who have more experience or anyone who has a similar story would be amazing!