Hey guys im back on here! I want to say hi to emerson marnia and gary as you guys have helped me a lot through the process. I had a bad porn addiction and did a couple reboots from porn as i relapsed once or twice within the last year. First one was for 76 days and second one was for 30 days. A couple of times (maybe like 5) i would go two to three weeks w/o pmo. Anyways i found a girlfriend and we got into a loving relationship at first and then we started having kinky sex and doing my fetishes and her fetishes. I have realized that this is ultimately making me become seperate from her. I also got back into reading erotic stories (i consider a form of porn). She knows about karezza and ultimately she doesn't want to lose me as a partner. The conventional sex affects me more negatively than it does her. She still says she has strong feelings for me after conventional orgasm. As for my afterwards, i pretty much stop working out, stop meditating, stop eating healthy, stop studying and being productive. Since I have been with her the longest we went without orgasm was 30 days and in these 30 days we cuddled but i felt like it was bitter as i was trying so hard to avoid orgasm. If i got too aroused, I would get mad at her and blame her because i was scared of failing. It kind of worked for 30 days but after that 30 days we ended up back where we were within two weeks of conventional sex. So I have a couple of questions:
1. Can we start karezza right away? I know the book cupid says that we should start the practices after two weeks of abstinence, but getting to that abstinence is really hard for me. So I wanted to see if there is anyway around that. And maybe if there isnt are there ways that can help me abstain without having to give up hanging out with her. The thing that i am scared of is trying to abstain for the two weeks until your chemicals balance out and during that time giving in since...we are vulnerable during that period? I pretty much have ed right now and my penis is really sore and raw so i dont think we could even have intercourse. would cuddling and all the other stuff be good for us?
2. I know that cold water is very good for healing the penis physically and cold showers are very healthy for a person. I wanted to know if maybe we can start cuddling and she can ice my penis and my testicles with an ice cube and apply vitamin e and other healing stuff on there without the intent of arousing me?
3. She knows about karezza, and wants to help me with this addiction and have fulfilling love life together. But I feel that she is not as passionate about it as i am? Any articles that i should show her that can help me talk her into this. I know it would achieve what we want ultimately.