I'm a new member here. I'm french and I don't find things on this subject in my country. I'm reading Cupid's Poison Arrow and I came in this web site to have other points of view.
I'm 31 and I have a mate.
Since I'm 18 I think that orgams make me feel bad : exhausted during several days, no energy. Each time this happens, I regret the following day. Yet, this happens again, and the bad feelings too.
In fact, I'm not attracted by Karezza sex. Even if sometimes I love to practice sex this way, it can't be always like this. Yes sex is a spiritual sharing, it's deep, intense, it's love, it's beauty,...all this is the "white side", like if we were 2 angels reaching light and paradise. But the "dark side" of sex is so goood too ! Hard sex, pulsion, madness, bestiality, heavy breathing, scream, orgasms and ejaculation. This is these both sides of sex that make it so exceptional.
When I do not have orgasm and we practice sex in the dark way, I feel good. I does't matter if he climaxes or no. I love when this happens but it's not essential to find it was good. What I want to underline is that hard sex does not systematically involve orgasm. Like I must say sex in the "white way" can involve orgasm : I sometimes practice "Karezza" (slow moves, deep breath, no contracted muscles) and in spite of this, I have a really strong orgasm.
It's good to climax, even if I love sex without it. When we make love, the reason I climax is that I decide it to happen. During the last 7 months, I had 5 orgasms but the consequences are really terrible : 2 or 3 weeks of fatigue, depression, need for sugar or junk food. I feel so good when this do not happen... After 3 month I feel like I'm younger, I have a more beautiful body, more beautiful hair, skin,...
I have the feeling that I have to choose to deprive myself of this highest peak of pleasure. Or to have one 2 times per years. What do you think ?