Day 75 no porn, day 21 no MO. The girl who started it all. Oh boy.

Submitted by Normal256 on
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So I've gone 75 days without porn, and 21 days without masturbation or orgasm.

The other day, I saw the girl who started this whole PMO abstinence thing. I'll back up briefly - I hooked up with a girl at a local bar back in September, and simply put.....I couldn't get it up. Even though she wanted it bad, and even though I was ready to go myself. She pretty much threw herself at me, and I couldn't get it up. It was like the fifth time that's happened (although with different girls at different times). Thus, I began wondering what the hell was wrong with me, which caused me to stumble onto your Yourbrainonporn.com, and the rest is history. So this girl and my embarassing attempt at sex with her was the catalyst for this journey I've been on for the last 4 months or so.

Needless to say, pretty much every encounter I've had with her since then (and there've been a few) has been pretty awkward. We smile and say hi to be polite, but it's painfully obvious that it's an awkward greeting. But I saw her on the street the other day, and her whole demeanor was completely different. She seemed pretty happy to see me (she was wearing headphones and quickly took them off to talk to me). She smiled a lot, she was eager to talk. Very strange, because again, this is a girl who I completely embarassed myself in front of a few months back. Things have always been weird between us since then, but not that day.

The other blog post on sexual tension that seems to be created by abstaining from PMO made me wonder if this is what's happening. This is the LAST girl on the planet who I expect to have been friendly or eager to talk to me. Now I'm not interested in dating the girl, or even having sex with her again (I think it'd be too difficult not to have flashbacks of what happened before), but still, it's so weird that she, of all people, would seem...........dare I say, flirtatious with me.

Anywho, nothing much else going on with me. I'm just rolling on, trying to break my previous no PMO record of 29 days. By next Wednesday, I should be there. Once I hit 30 days, I'll definitely go for 60 days. The last time I stayed away from PMO, there were noticeable improvements after 29 days, but it still felt like I had a ways to go. Good thing I'm pretty busy right now.

Comments

Lol, nothing sexier than a

Lol, nothing sexier than a man abstaining? Its likely she's sensing your new manly vibe, but who knows, chicks are weird, maybe she just found some extra rainbows in her lucky charms this morning.

Don't rule her out! I she may

Don't rule her out! I she may have come to her senses and realized that it was one time and not such a big deal. Maybe she is willing to go for it again. Next time ask her to go for a drink. That way, when you're in the bar and you've had a couple, and you are relaxed, you can get a better sense of how you are reacting with her. Maybe you'll even be able to tell her your story (if you are comfortable doing that). Then, who knows? Maybe you'll get a chance at redemption.

I've thought about that

I've thought about that James2568............but I'm worried about jumping the gun anytime in the next couple of weeks. I'm only 21 days into abstaining from M/O. I feel like I need a lot more time, despite having gone almost 11 weeks without porn.

Basically, I'm only like 60

Basically, I'm only like 60 to 70 percent confident my equipment would work should I find myself in the bedroom with her or anyone else again, right now. But if I give it a few more weeks, it'll be more like 99% confidence.

Understandable

You definitely have to go at your own pace. Great job on the self control. Still, maybe staying in contact with her will at least give you some options down the road if she's still available? I'm at day 38 right now, and I have not intention of screwing this recovery up. But, because of my rather unusual circumstances I will have less social opportunity until I get past my big test in July. I'm kinda wishing I had "go to" girl or friend with benefits I could turn to after I get passed the 90-100 day mark. I'm the same as you though. I think even if I have the opportunity right now, I would likely stay away because I don't want to do anything too sexually stimulating until I feel the reboot/rewire is firmly in place. Good luck friend.

Take your time,

but realize your mojo is working! Be warm and friendly in any case. After all...it wasn't her fault. Your brain just got a bit out of balance there for a while. Nothing that can't be mended.

Hey man

Hey man

Good luck with your situation.

I definetly wouldn't rule out this girl, just don't pressure anything. I think you'll be amazed.