A recap: Some observations about the 2 week "reset" after the last orgasm with wife. I realize that by forcing myself to look clearly at everything during the course of the coming days, I will affect the observations. Because I KNOW there are symptoms, I will see them, hopefully without distorting them.
See here for first 7 days.
Had an emotional evening...wife is struggling with this whole thing. Change in this area is hard, and I kind of dropped a bomb on her. Felt generally OK except started to struggle with fear that this would all fall apart (I guess that means I would fall all apart). Again, cycling a bit emotionally.
Noticed a pain in my lower right side, around my kidney. Figured out is was muscular. I have had persistent muscular issues in my lower back (keeping things too tight mostly), and I suddenly noticed that I was relaxing. The pain I had was not something tightening up, but loosening!
A lot of tenseness in my body is starting to release.
Not sure what to make of today….emotional, a little "off", guilt, unsure about whether I can make this whole thing work. Negative thoughts: What is wife thinking? Is she enjoying her "holiday" and doesn’t look forward/need more physical contact? All the perception concerns that start to interfere with feeling good about your spouse.
Not really super down, just a little negative and feeling unsure of everything.
Felt pretty good, pretty even, no super high or super low, no feelings of hopelessness, etc. Nothing much to report.
Struggled with feeling REALLY physically needy, to the point where I was reaching out in a needy way to my wife. Had some fallout here, mostly around the fact that I wasn't really in control and during some physical contact she could tell I was being needy and got all tense. What was interesting is how she said that while she was sure I wasn't going to "escalate" to sex, the experience did "escalate" in a negative way.
After sorting out the previous day, felt pretty good although a emotionally spent. Been a lot of high emotions in recent days. However, I felt in control of myself at this point (unlike day before).
Nothing to report, felt ok, positive outlook, etc. Will note that my appetite is still WAY down and I have lost 7 lbs (note that most of that has to be water weight....I stopped snacking late and sugary/fatty things just don't hold the attraction they did).
Well, it has been interesting. I feel much better about a lot of things, including myself. It was a little disturbing how out of control I felt in the first 7 days, and how I got jumped on Tuesday last week with what seemed like one last ditch effort of biology to screw me up. Time will tell....I will be very curious to see if those odd days of insecurity pop back up again, in which case it's just my insecurity rearing its head. Obviously we all have days we feel down, etc, but this one was stronger and somewhat out of my hands.
Was it worth it? YES. I have to assume that some people will be affected more than others, so your mileage may vary, but it is a worthy experiment. If I were to try and tell anyone what to expect, I would say to beware of the strength of the feelings that your biology can induce in you...don't give in to what seems like the strongest drive to do something you have ever felt, because it will change.