Denial or HOCD

Submitted by sterlingcooper on
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My life has been a living hell for the past 2 weeks. Mainyl because I think I'm going gay.

I think a little backstory is in order. I have a fetish, and am aroused only by that. And the said fetish is not homoerotic in any way. Life was good till a couple of weeks back, when the first thought popped up inot my mind- whether i was gay. I dont even remember how it started, but it has completely taken control over me. It has made me preoccupied with everything, made me reevaluate everything from my childhood, and even made me worry about having sex in the future, like what if im turned off by vagina? I googled a lot of stuff, and to make conditions worse, I wasnt turned on by anything, not even my usual videos. I gave up, and tried gay porn. Strangely, that did not arouse me either. Im confused beyond all point, and then i come across this thing called HOCD. And now im worried whether this is hocd, or if i have been gay all my life without knowing it. Im afraid to talk to my colleagues, im afraid to look at pictures, and if i come across any picture, i have to keep looking at it to see if im aroused or not. sometime i go out of the way to google up images and see if im aroused. im not usually, i mean, my heart beat increases, but nothing goes on downstairs.

somebody help?

Breathe

This is becoming very common today, and it has nothing to do with turning gay. Read the articles on this page for more:

I'm straight, but attracted to transexual or gay porn. What's up?

Then...stop reading anything on the subject and stay away from porn and porn fantasy and testing and analyzing for several months. You need to reboot to restore your natural libido (which has to do with returning your brain to its normal sensitivity to pleasure.)

You need time and no sexual stimulation. See http://yourbrainonporn.com/node/79

When you feel anxious, exercise and use some of the techniques here: ♦Solo Tools

Here's a good forum for you: YOURBRAINREBALANCED.COM

I used to be turned off by

I used to be turned off by Vajayjay too. I thought it was the ugliest thing in the world.,,,,,UNTIL I watched creampie Japanese AV porn and porn featuring young models such as ______. I mean, if you watch porn, you got to select what turns you on! Don't see the vajayjay as just a body part. See it and link it to pleasure to your Mr Johnson! Now the thought of seeing a beautiful vajayjay having my semen flowing out of it turns me on anytime! Now I think vajayjay is the most beautiful thing in the world. If you like I can show you some links. LOL. My advise to you, watch younger actress and models so you wont get any vajayjay phobias.

Note: Until today I am only turned on by maybe 40% of vajayjays that I see. I am 100% straight.

Please take care not to mention

specific porn actresses or sites. It can be a major trigger for people who are trying to unhook.

Not sure there's anything inherentlly gorgeous about genitals. It's their owners who have always turned me on.

It's exciting to see so many guys who have been hooked on pixels (visuals) start to relate to whole people as they recover. Seems to happen automatically as they increase the distance from porn.