My life has been a living hell for the past 2 weeks. Mainyl because I think I'm going gay.
I think a little backstory is in order. I have a fetish, and am aroused only by that. And the said fetish is not homoerotic in any way. Life was good till a couple of weeks back, when the first thought popped up inot my mind- whether i was gay. I dont even remember how it started, but it has completely taken control over me. It has made me preoccupied with everything, made me reevaluate everything from my childhood, and even made me worry about having sex in the future, like what if im turned off by vagina? I googled a lot of stuff, and to make conditions worse, I wasnt turned on by anything, not even my usual videos. I gave up, and tried gay porn. Strangely, that did not arouse me either. Im confused beyond all point, and then i come across this thing called HOCD. And now im worried whether this is hocd, or if i have been gay all my life without knowing it. Im afraid to talk to my colleagues, im afraid to look at pictures, and if i come across any picture, i have to keep looking at it to see if im aroused or not. sometime i go out of the way to google up images and see if im aroused. im not usually, i mean, my heart beat increases, but nothing goes on downstairs.