Apologise in advance for such a long first post, but I felt before I begin my journey with this an outline of my situation would be helpful. I am little embarrassed about sharing, but felt it was necessary. Forgive me if this is too detailed I will happily remove or edit it if needs be.
I am happily married with 2 children and have always had a very good sex life with my wife. We happily discuss each others needs and are both very communicative during sex. Our goals were and I guess still are the aim of enjoying each other with the end goal of an orgasm for both parties.
A change to this was forced up on me around 6 years ago. After having my vasectomy I lost the ability to orgasm. I can still ejaculate, I still get all the desires and have very healthy erections. It is just that I get a lesser amount of the build up to ejaculation and then no orgasm sensation at all.
This was very difficult for me and I searched for solutions for my ‘ejaculatory anhedonia’ for a long time, over the past year or so I have become less transfixed with fixing this and become more keen to learning to live with it. My wife is great and from her point of view she notices no difference, from my side of things I have become more keen on enjoying the actual sex rather than achieving an orgasm. I still like to ejaculate it still has that same sense of need to happen that it always did. I have become a more visual person during sex and this is a lot of fun.
So after searching around I found my way here and this seems to be something I can develop into a sexual technique that may help change my focus further.
I do have questions though.
Last night my wife and I had sex with the goal of not having orgasms or in my case ejaculation. We had great sex and then stopped at an appropriate morning. This can feel a bit sudden and we both had a bit of a ‘now what?’ moment. I was wondering how people dealt with that?
We actually lay still snuggly for a moment, but I still had so much desire to finish we went back at it for another session! Then when we were done again, my wife gently stroked my penis as I fell asleep.
I awoke this morning very excited and we had early morning sex again which was fantastic. I have been out at work all day and feel really good although I still have a constant desire to ‘finish’ with ejaculation. I am easily aroused and I liken the whole experience to the time when I was first dating my wife and we were not yet having sex, but were making out quite a lot and I was very aroused without being able to have sex with her.
I feel like my genitals are aching today and I am holding back, I am hoping this is normal? But it feels a little uncomfortable and I wondered if there are health risks here?
It isn’t painful, but a slight feeling like something needs to come out almost a little bit like I need to pee I guess hehe.
On a side note I suffer from anxiety and today is the first time in a long while that I am not anxious! I wonder if the hormone levels are helping with this!
Anyway, again apologies if this is too detail I am not sure on the etiquette, but I wanted to share and I was hoping to give this a shot!