emotional blockages?

Submitted by DT761128 on
Printer-friendly version

Hi, I'm a 36 year old bisexual male. The last few years I've been bothered by prostate problems and some ED. I have asperger's and I considered myself a virgin (now it's debatable I guess, a grey area), and had a history of moderate porn use in the past, with some rather extreme interests in the recent present (video camming with guys, exposure to some really extreme sexuality on Second Life). Last week I made out with a transsexual friend who finally came on to me, we made out for hours but when she tried to masturbate me, her technique was rough and I wasn't the least bit hard. However she was very satisfied with me, we did alot of cuddling, exploration, and some kissing and she wants to see me again soon for more playing.

I'm concerned about my trouble with erections. I noted I was tired that day, this past 6 months have been emotional hell (dealing with disability issues, losing my drivers license... and I also have some degree of gender dysphoria and I'm a crossdresser- I do not cross dress for erotic reasons in the same way a heterosexual crossdresser would, however. For me its an expression of my inner gender identity, which is more androgynous than the typical male). And lastly I felt a bit hurt by her so maybe there was a trust issue, mostly I felt shockd being with her, in a good way, but too much excitement. I also have undergone alot of religious brainwashing a few years ago, and it took me a year or so to come out as queer, deprogram, etc. Suffice it to say trying to be a good little Eastern Orthodox Christian and genderqueer and bisexual at the same time has taken its toll.

How much do you think my porn use and kink interest effects my erectile problems, and how much could be due to an emotional blockage due to spiritual abuse and prolonged involuntary celibacy? My testosterone is low normal, about 300, and i've had mixe reactions if that is too low or not (most of my doc's say no, some say yes). I am undergoing a gender transition to a more androgynous appearance, but otherwise I'm taking it very slow and I'd like to explore male sexuality more before I decide on medical interventions (I've sometimes in the back of my mind thought of taking estrogen and living as a woman). Sexually I am versatile and I liked anal play during masturbation (and I guess i'd like it during sex too). I've also noticed some erectile issues when masturbating and morning wood and such is not as great as 4 years ago.

It's hard to say

The only way to know if a reboot will help is to try one. Can't see you'd have much to lose, other than a few orgasms...which you can make up for later if you don't like the results. Wink

Did you watch Gary's videos and read about rebooting over on his site? http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/

Good luck sorting things out. Sounds like an exciting time in your life. Keep us posted on your progress. Why not start your own blog?

does a reboeot involve total abstinence from all sex?

I'm just curious to know if a reboot involves abstinence from all sex? I've pretty much stopped all porn use years ago. I was just way too into fooling around online and kinks... not porn per se. My sexual interest wasn't focused enough on finding a real physical partner. I've learned some things myself sexually but its taken its toll on my libido, and I think I may also have physical problems not just in my brain (I have weak nocturnal erections, is this common in sex/porn induced dysfunction?).

Gary's site is interesting but its mostly aimed at heterosexual males. I'm a bisexual male and I'm not primarily visual in my sexual arousal. I got turned on more by the thought of being used sexually (I'm a versatile bottom, not a top) and not looking at pictures of pretty girls or guys (looks are less relevent to me than most guys... and I actually spent a good deal of time reading slash and erotic fiction). However I still think interntet sex did something to me where my libido feels fragile, esp. combined with life stessors.

If you watch his videos,

you'll see that the real issue for many folks is dopamine dysregulation from chronic overstimulation of the brain - however one managed to achieve it. So I think you'll find this series helpful: http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series

As far as I know, there's nothing special about having a bisexual brain or even a female brain in this regard. Brains are brains and the reward circuitry is the reward circuitry.