Holding back a primal urge is not easy. That’s what all of us are doing with NoFap. Any urge that strong is going to be a difficult animal to cage and train. NoFap isn’t just about curbing a detrimental PMO habit, what we’re really doing is learning how to control ourselves.
My reason for doing the reboot as stated in my journal on Day 1 (November 10, 2010):
Day One: The goal is to weaken my brain’s neuron pathways responsible for porn enjoyment.
I had porn induced ED, and suffered it with my last 7 partners. I failed to perform in a real-life threesome with two women. So there’s that. I found YBOP on this subreddit and watched as it described my problem perfectly. I read some success stories. I decided to commit that day (having already fapped of course to some probably hardcore stuff) and deleted all my porn. 90GB nicely sorted and organized.
I had a fear to perform in the bedroom ever since my first long-term girlfriend and I broke up 5 years ago. When we fought, she would often insult me then shut me out. The attacks were personal, but not always sexual. Once we separated, I began fapping heavily to all kinds of porn. This developed into the problem I feel I have now conquered.
Over the last 3 months, I have noticed large changes in my thinking that I believe are directly related to my reboot:
Day 1: I was more afraid to perform with a woman then I was to just fap. Now: I’m afraid to fap but plan on fucking the brains out of the next girl I meet.
Day 1: it would have been impossible for me to stimulate myself into a full erection without pornography.
Now: I can get hard with just some thoughts and light touching. These erections last long even after I stop fantasizing.
This has been a great success. I’m grateful to everyone here for their threads and discussions. Without them, I wouldn’t have been able to actually quit PMO for good. This is a commitment now that I refuse to break.