[February 5th, 2012, Day 12] Here Comes The Dark Cloud

Submitted by Coltrane on
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I'm not planning to update this blog on a daily basis, but I felt that today was important in tracking my progress. For the first time since starting my reboot, I've felt the beginning of withdrawal symptoms.

Woke up this morning with plenty of aches and pains...felt like an old man when I tried to stand up. Legs hurt, arms hurt, etc. A brooding mood ensued all throughout work as well. Some couples came in, and I just got this burning sense of self-loathing watching guys throw their arms around their girl. One of my roommates brought a girl home last night, and I caught her as she was walking out. Usually stuff like this doesn't bother me, but my mood only darkened when I saw her. Again, i'm not usually a jealous or brooding type of guy, but I feel like a 13-year old girl today. Just want to lock myself in my room and hide it out. Fuck.

I've read on the forums and other people's blogs that withdrawal often comes with feelings of depression, so i'm hoping that this is temporary.

I'm also beginning to realize how long of a process this will be. I'm not even at two weeks, and I'm already ready to call it quits.

No use in sitting around and moping all day long. Gonna take some of that pent up angst and take it to the gym.

Comments

Sadness is a side effect for

Sadness is a side effect for sure, and you second guess if it has to do with your porn and m. It does! Excercise helps alot. I'm running 4 to 5 times a week, brings dopamine back to level, at least that is what I hear.

Thank you

Thanks for your comments!

newbie: working out seems to be one of the only ways I can keep myself in check. Regardless of how shitty I feel before exercise, I ALWAYS come out feeling at least a bit better. Keep it up!

Marnia: those two links really helped me out. Thanks for taking the time to personally address all of our problems, you rock!