First attempt at PMO recovery, kinda confused

Submitted by worldplus on
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Hey guys!
To be brief, I'm a 19 year old lad currently studying. I'm a nice guy who got exposed to the wrong thing is how I'm seeing things. Basically, PMO is all I know, an internet age kid who started about 13....and the stuff just got kinkier and kinkier. In everyday life I'm a cool down to Earth guy I'd like to think, I'm into sports, friends etc. I'm one of three brothers and none of us has ever had a girlfriend, it's kind of unknown territory in our house though I'd like to think if I ever met someone amazing who I felt was meant for me that it wouldn't be awkward. My mum's kind of creepy like that too, it's as if she knows we'll have girlfriends one day, but she's just awkward, anyway I can't really explain it plus I'm going off topic.

I'm confused at the moment as I know porn isn't because I'm a bad person, it just got into the hands of a nice guy, hopefully with a strong enough will to get rid of it. I've experimented briefly with no P before but relapsed after 4 or 5 days, but the London Olympics really inspired me, like seriously, seriously inspired me. Since then it hasn't even been a challenge....I'm on day 8 which feels good. Sometimes in the evenings I'll have a really weird sense of being lost as if I should be doing something else - that is watching porn. It's a problem.

Anyway the reason I'm so confused in essence stems from what I've found on this sites about the benefits of no MO. I thought it was one of the most natural things in the world....isn't it unhealthy not to masturbate? The only reason I could consider it worthwhile would be for rebooting reasons. Anyway, say you had a girlfriend and had sex a few times a week, wouldn't that have the same physical effects as masturbating, if not emotional?

Ultimately I think this PMO stuff has taken a toll on my life, it is effecting me and I want out. I'm a nice guy and I want to go back to the nice guy I have been but with the feelings I had before I discovered porn at puberty, of complete pure sexuality and with pure, perfect ideas of women. I'm currently on 8 days no P and 3 days no MO. I'm adding to a tally at the end of each day as it makes me feel good, though time is passing deathly slowly. I just want to be months free now. After a couple of months if I had stayed clean I'd stop tallying as I'd want to feel as though each day was a new day, rather than "how long's it been today!" Normally my drive comes back roaring on day 3, though I can't get it up with my hand, it's got that bad. Only laying on my front on the mattress in front of porn does the job. I need to be hard on myself in order to reboot.

I appreciate all the help I can get at the moment, I need it more than you can know. I'm 19 and I just want this PMO larky to stop here as a teen.

p.s. Say you abstained from PMO for 70 days, managed to reboot yourself, wouldn't you go back to masturbating healthily say once a week as is healthy to do so or am I missing the point? I thought everyone masturbated.....why would something natural be self-damaging? Eating doesn't do the same?

Cheers everyone!

you could go back to MO if

you could go back to MO if you wanted to post reboot. i just found that there are a lot of great effects that come from holding off. feeling better all day beats a 5-10 minute jerk. I would definitely O, but i've decided that its only going to come from sex. plus, there are a lot of good effects that come from sex through bonding and stuff, so on top of it being amazing, there are benefits there too. Personally ive just lost interest in MO

MO

On one hand, masturbation is a natural thing and at your age, it will not really do you much harm. Young bodies recover very quickly from the loss of semen. However, if you intend to continue with it, then you should keep these things in mind:

Don't do it just to relieve tension. I used to do this when I was a teenager and it wired my brain to think that the purpose of sex was to ejaculate. When I later started having sex with women it manifested as a premature ejaculation problem. If you are going to masturbate, take your time and enjoy the sensations. Give yourself at least 20-30 minutes to do it in. Train yourself to see sex as a process that is worth enjoying rather than just a means to an end (ejaculation). Also, try masturbating without ejaculating some times so that the two things do not become hard-wired together in your brain.

Don't ejaculate more than once or twice a week. Even at your age you will probably notice a rise in energy and confidence when you go a few days without ejaculating. You should also experiement with not ejaculating for a couple of weeks just to see how you feel. You will probably notice that girls are more interested in you when you have not ejaculated for a while. They can sense the higher sexual charge that you are carrying and it attracts them. Men are always so anxious to get rid of sexual tension, and then they wonder why they have trouble attracting women. When you ejaculate, you are getting rid of the very thing that attracts the women ... strong masculine energy. Don't take my word for it. Try it and see for yourself.

Be aware that frequent masturabtion will become somewhat dull. Anything that is done too often becomes dull. You will naturally start looking for ways to make the experience interesting again and could find yourself back in a porn or fantasy habit.

You are young. Any damage you may have done can easily be reversed at this point. However, it is never too early to establish healthy habits. You can avoid problems with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and other intimacy issues later in life if you are responsible about how you pleasure yourself now.

And that advice...

should be passed on by every father to every son, albeit it in ways/as appropriate for the specifics of each father and son relationship. Shame of it is, it'd probably creep out most of those relationships.

Hi

I too would warn against M leading back to what brought you here. It's hard to say though as your situation is different you are 19 and don't have a girl friend where as I am married and 42.

For me though I know I am an addict and I know where M leads to for me - fantasy and porn and webcam-ing and then wanting to take all this into the 'real-world'. I always think that if we were alcoholics we wouldn't keep any alcohol in the house but may be in time we could learn to go to a bar and not drink. I can control myself and not use P or M and webcam at all and focus on my relationship with my wife. I have learnt how to be around attractive women and not want it to lead to anything. But I have learnt that if I starting M then it all goes out of the window.

However I can remember what it is like at 19 and how some 'release' in many aspects of life is needed. I was a late starter with women and didn't start a proper relationship until after university. If you had a girlfriend you might find that things balance out naturally. Too much M before that though and you'll get very practiced at O'ing very quickly and that's not good!

Find out what works for you over time and don't beat yourself up if it doesn't always work.