First Time Reaching out for Help with Masturbation Addiction

Submitted by quitter90 on
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I'm an 18 year old male and I have decided I have a masturbation problem. I have the habit of sexting other females on dating sites, getting pictures and masturbating to those, and on top of that I masturbate to a lot of pornography online. I first started when I was 12 and only a couple times a week, then as I got older I became very self conscious of the random erections I would get, which I had to avoid at all costs for my social anxiety, I was afraid people would see my erection and laugh at me so I learned that you can prevent it by masturbating more often and that's where the real habit began and then years later it formed into an addiction.
It's at a point now where I can't even sit down and do physical homework on paper, with my laptop in another room and cell phone in another room without thinking of masturbating. I can't focus until I've masturbated, it's like an itch I can't scratch and it finally feels scratched after I ejaculate. It doesn't end there, after I'm done with homework and have nothing to do I go right back to masturbating again. Most days I do it twice, and some I'll do three and I have even done five before,
I hate it and I can't handle the idea of knowing I f*** my hand more than females. I go out and see other males getting females I can only imagine. My social anxiety has also been with me for years now, I hate it. I would like to go to the gym and workout but I'm too anxious, I know I'm not in bad shape, I can be a little bigger I just have high social anxiety. I never really fit in anywhere when I was little because I moved around so much. I was never good with girls so I sort of gave up on them and switched to masturbation.
I hate myself for this. I want to quit but I never make it far. I went one week without it once and that was because I was so depressed I didn't feel like doing anything at all that week, and then I forced myself to because my penis started dripping pre-ejaculate fluid (i severely apologize if this information is too much, I'm just trying to provide good information). So when it started dripping I panicked, went online and I read somewhere it means you need to ejaculate so I broke that one week. Is it normal for your penis to drip that kind of fluid when you abstain masturbation? I was scared so I masturbated.
I wanna stop this.

It's normal when you have an addiction

for your brain to be able to convince you that you "need" your fix. Indeed, if you don't get it, you start through the withdrawal process which can be excruciating.

But your wellbing lies on the other side of the withdrawal misery. Get familiar with what withdrawal is like by reading this: What does withdrawal from porn addiction look like? | Your Brain On Porn

Then, consider joining one of these forums for support:

http://www.rebootnation.org

YOURBRAINREBALANCED.COM

NoFap.org

r/Pornfree

REDDIT.NoFap

Everything we've learned from the men recovering is collected here: www.yourbrainonporn.com

good for you!

Congratulations on reaching out for help in PMO recovery. Be gentle with yourself. This website was essential to my own recovery which I'm living each day, one day at a time