Fluid Releases?

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I am curious about the fluid releases my wife is now having. In the past when we had sex with orgasms she was never this wet. Now we have to put a towel under us to keep the sheets from getting wet. Lloyd mentions it in his book but I am still not too sure about it and what exactly brings it on. It doesn't happen every time we make love but it does happen most of the time. It usually happens after about 30 mins and sometimes it will happen again towards the end at about an hour or so. My wife says she doesn't know when or why it happens it just does. I always know when it does as I get this wonderful warm flow all around the base of my penis and on my scrotum. It is a beautiful thing, that's for sure. In the beginning she was a little embarrassed by it because she thought she was making a huge mess, but I have reassured her it is fine, I love it, and so now she is OK with it. I am sure it is perfectly normal but I wonder why it has just begun since we started Karezza, any

you know

I'm a bit jealous. We are not having sex for that period of time. Not even close. Most of our sex is fifteen minutes although it's quite frequent compared to the old days. My wife still isn't getting aroused. That's neither here nor there on your post but I just thought I'd mention it. She doesn't get really wet.

Don't have any idea about your post, but maybe you have a suggestion for me. Always love reading your posts.

It happened to us also last Sunday,

and again this morning, although to a lesser extent. Female ejaculation is something I had read about a few months back, and is still very controversial. Amazingly, with all of our knowledge about human sexuality, there is no clear agreement on what it actually is. If you go to Wiki, you will find an article on it, but at the end it says that female ejaculate is actually the thicker viscous substance, and not the clear liquid you and I know about. I know what we experienced was def. not urine. It was clear and practically odorless, plus it felt great to her and to me. Last Sunday she flowed at least three times, and this morning she trickled a little. It felt great to her, and to me.

Here's a link that helped me a lot. http://www.holisticwisdom.com/services_female-ejaculation_what-is-it.htm

About a week and a half ago, PW shared how odd it is that she always had to pee after our time together, even though she had emptied her bladder. I suggested that it could be female ejaculate instead of urine. That following Sunday, it just happened. Like your wife, she was embarassed at first, but as she has gotten used to it, she really really enjoys it. It also doesn't happen except after at least 30 - 45 minutes.

Amrita

We call the fluid "amrita" and I think it's just a lovely mixture of his pre-ejaculate mixed with my nectar~~which starts to flow as soon as he caresses my breasts. It also seems to activate whenever his penis head is near my cervix.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amrita

I don't consider it ejaculation as it is not tied to orgasm, but a steady release throughout our lovemaking. We usually make a huge swampy mess, lol. It's lovely to have all that self-lubrication especially when you are connected for an hour or more.

Enjoy it! It means your penis is welcomed and wanted and loved~~

Link

Thanks for that link Rachel. Very interesting. I agree with you about it not being tied to orgasm, it just flows for no apparent reason other than happy wife, happy vagina, and lots of love!

Suggestion

Thanks Emerson,
Maybe a discussion about your needs would be in order, maybe explain how you feel and let her know you want to try some extended session, if she gives it a try she might like it.

Its hard to know what might help, but this is what works for us.
We always begin in the spoons position.
First I get inside her all the way, which I try to do very very slow, then I don't do anymore than it takes to remain hard, which sometimes is no movement at all.

We will remain that way for around ten or twenty minutes, and then I will begin to move in and out, again very very slow and smooth, and that usually lasts for about another ten or twenty minutes, this is where the fluid usually starts to flow.

Then I pull almost completely out and we are just barely connected by her lips and my head, with real slow, short strokes and she absolutely loves this.

After that I get all the way back in and just lay real still, again with only enough movement to stay firm. And thats what works for us.

Hope this helps
PS one other thing, we don't talk at all, it seems like talking is a distraction for us.

Thanks luv2fly

we did have a serious talk yesterday. And we had intercourse for much longer today than ever before, maybe an hour, first missionary then scissors. Her lubrication flowed a lot better.

I think the issue is that she still believes she doesn't have a sex drive to speak of, which isn't true, and she is distracted with her own thoughts and not in her body during intercourse. She loves cuddling, and falling into a reverie that way, but that is a disconnect similar to sleep. It's very good but I think with sex you have to get there through being present rather than disconnecting.

I think that she needs to practice being present, pure and simple, and committed to this, and being an equal partner in this, which she has not felt she is.

We discussed all this and hopefully it will improve. 

Good news

Thats good news, I am glad you talked. I think communication is one of the best tools we have as husbands and wives. It is so important.
One thing I have gathered from this learning curve I am in is not to concentrate so much on your partner as yourself. That is hard for me and it sounds like it is hard for you too. I have noticed though that when I focus on myself more and stop worrying about my wife, things go better. It sounds kinda selfish I know but it does make a difference. I don't know exactly where it is but there are some posts here that go into detail about it.

absolutely - focus on myself

this is what I normally do.

But in our case, things have been stuck for about 7 months.

I've been enjoying the sex a lot, and she hasn't been enjoying it all that much.

I have finally decided to stop ignoring it, the elephant in the room, which is really the fact that I don't have any feeling of being wanted.

Loved, for sure. Wanted, no. I'm kind of inflicting myself on her. She isn't unhappy about it, but the sexual aspect of it was going nowhere.

Finally I decided not to settle for this anymore. It's way better than it's ever been, but I can see that she is still in what Darryl would call "feminine shut down" mode. And she can't do anything about it. But it's brought about by almost an intentional decision not to become interested in sex. Just to have sex passively, and I mean almost completely passively.

I'm not gonna go along with that anymore.

The intense bonding we do just serves us so well. I had this exact conversation with her. She was upset. But not that upset. We do too much bonding to be very upset. She gets it now. It's gonna be much better.

I'm thinking of trying the Daedone exercise with her or maybe just focus on focusing.

She said, I don't have much sex drive. I said, you have some, it's just when we have sex, you're not there. You're somewhere else. All you have to do is work at it a little, just focus your mind on your sensations. When you realize your thoughts are elsewhere, gently focus your attention back on your body -- your breasts or your pelvic floor or clit or whatever.  It's the sex as meditation part that we often leave out when we say "this is sex without orgasm." Duh, well it's that, but it's not that...

She loves bonding that disconnects her and puts her in a reverie. I'm starting to see how sex like Karezza can do that too, but starting from being very present and connected and relaxed. She isn't starting from there. She's starting from a very defensive approach. Probably because I've been too pushy in the past, but she has to come into whatever space she wants herself.

Ultimately to return to your point, I am focusing on myself. But sometimes we have to help our partner along to get our needs and wants met and that's where I'm very definitely at right now.

meditation

About the sex as meditation bit - that is how I have come to think of it, too. That recent ABC article that got all the negative comments focused entirely on the no orgasm part and never mentioned meditation. I wondered how different the comments would have been if it had been framed as a meditation rather than as regular sex minus orgasm. And when I think about who could be interested in it and who wouldn't be, I generally think that people who enjoy meditation and/or hallucinogens seem like the best candidates.

Re boot

We didn't do one (cause we didn't want to go without intercourse for three weeks, the thought makes my skin crawl) so I'm no authority but do you think a re-boot might help? Can't be much fun but if it got things reset it might be worth it........

doubt it

every couple has their path through this and it's all different. In my relationship we have the bonding going great. Everything's been really wonderful but we're stuck here and I'm not going to have it continue this way. I think this is what Karezza does -- it brings up emotional stuff that we continue bonding through and we reach a new plane. It's really exciting and amazing as a form of self-realization. 

You've been very helpful and I appreciate it.