HELP! New relationship and trying out Karezza

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Submitted by thehuntforidawave on
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Hey everyone, I've been dating a girl for about 6 weeks now, and things have been going very well. It seems things have been moving very fast (we've been hanging out at least 4-5 times a week at some points), and we've also been having a lot of orgasmic sex. As an example, this past weekend we went 6 rounds in about 1.5 days.

What I'm really worried about is the fact that this seems too perfect to be true....we're both very attracted to each other, highly compatible, and enjoy each other's company immensely. However, I wonder if this orgasmic sex will eventually lead to us separating at some point, something I would really like to avoid if I can.

Some questions I have:

1. I have brought up karezza with her in the past, and she seemed very willing to try it out. Problem is, how can I bring up the topic of her avoiding orgasm for the benefit of the relationship?

2. We do a lot of affectionate touch and bonding behavior throughout the day when we see each other, can this offset the orgasmic sex we have at all?

3. If she doesn't enjoy Karezza the first couple times, what can I do at that point to show her that going down this journey will only help us further our bond?

Any help would be greatly appreciated...I have never felt like this about a woman and I want to make sure that I can minimize any chances of us separating at all. Thanks.

Well...

keep in mind that you get a free pass from biology for a little while...extra "honeymoon neurochemistry" that let's you get away with more hot sex.

Your instincts are good, though. When you pull it way back...at first your brains may be a bit less responsive than normal to subtler pleasures.

What about giving her something to read and then asking her what she thinks? Something like this perhaps? Will Orgasms Keep You in Love?

You could try agreeing that you'll come every other time you have sex for a start. It can be very erotic and fun to let the energy build. Just make sure you slow things down a lot before you end the session. Then it won't be so uncomfortable. Smile Slower intercourse, relaxed vagina, relaxed root of the penis, moments of still connection...all are a good way to transition.

Yes and no

The fallout is there, but it's easy to ignore it because you're so pumped up on various honeymoon neurochemical "extras." From Will Orgasms Keep You in Love?

New lovers are jacked up on special honeymoon neurochemicals, which go far beyond the effects of oxytocin. For example, they have extra nerve growth factor and cortisol flowing through their veins. Dopamine-releasing areas of the brain are activated. Their serotonin is often as low as the levels of OCD patients—which is why lovers obsess over each other. In addition, odd things are going on with their testosterone levels: They're lower than normal in men during early romance, and higher than normal in women—bringing their libidos more into sync.

Yet all these potent neurochemicals return to normal levels by year two at the latest. Once that booster shot wears off, cracks often appear.Intriguingly, there's growing evidence of a subtle neurochemical/hormonal cycle after climax, which can impact mood and shift partner perception, and affects each of us slightly differently. As our honeymoon neurochemistry fades, too much orgasm can leave some lovers averse to hot sex for days—and others more insatiable than ever. Tellingly, even though everyone really likes orgasm, and sex aids abound, only thirteen percent of couples manage to stay romantically in love over the long haul. Fleeting orgasm-related surges of oxytocin do not appear to be the magic bullet for harmony.

Do we know what factors

Do we know what factors affect the duration of the honeymoon period? Or how mindfulness about orgasm fallout and karezza can alter things? I doubt researchers looking at honeymoon neurochemicals had any karezzanauts.

'Course not

but even I wouldn't suggest that karezza would keep honeymoon neurochemistry at a fever pitch.Biggrin Still, you're right...much is not known.

Marnia wrote:

[quote=Marnia]keep in mind that you get a free pass from biology for a little while...extra "honeymoon neurochemistry" that let's you get away with more hot sex.Your instincts are good, though. When you pull it way back...at first your brains may be a bit less responsive than normal to subtler pleasures.What about giving her something to read and then asking her what she thinks? Something like this perhaps? Will Orgasms Keep You in Love?You could try agreeing that you'll come every other time you have sex for a start. It can be very erotic and fun to let the energy build. Just make sure you slow things down a lot before you end the session. Then it won't be so uncomfortable. Smile Slower intercourse, relaxed vagina, relaxed root of the penis, moments of still connection...all are a good way to transition.[/quote]

Well that does sound reassuring that there is still time to prevent anything drastic from happening. I can tell that my perception of her is changing because of all the orgasms we've had over the past few days...yesterday was the first time she said she was going to hang out with friends in the evening in about a week, and the first thought in my head was that she was abandoning me. Looking at it rationally though, she's falling in love with me and just wanted a night with friends (she invited me over the night before just so she could make me breakfast in the morning for godsake)!

Last time I brought up that we should stop having sex, she was very supportive and actually stopped for my sake. I think I will just need to bring that conversation up again with her at some point. I also appreciate your suggestion, because drastically cutting down the sex would be a little weird for the both of us.

and there is this...

congratulations and it's wonderful to be falling in love.

What "this" is, is just consider doing your thing without trying to convince or persuade. "I'm trying something new. I'm not going to come today and see what happens" it all it takes.

The benefit of this is you are setting the example as the male who pursues a goal and that is very sexy and appealing to women. You are holding sexual initiative. Then she can explore and do whatever she wants. It's lovely to have a woman come of course and you may continue enjoying that, or maybe not, sometimes.

My point is, YOU avoid orgasm for a bit and see how it works. It is totally not necessary to have HER also avoid orgasm, and when you see what it brings you, and she sees that, she can decide for a bit not to have an orgasm either, and you never asked her not to, and never influenced her except by example, which is quite lovely :)