I am 17 years old and suffer from OCD. I am straight in my mind and have never liked any guys, but every now and then I masturbate to the images of guys, even people I know in real life. I think masturbating to guys may make me feel like i am doing something wrong and that is why it is a turn on for me. Anyways, this is has been eating at me for a few months now as to why I sometimes masturbate to guys even though I classify myself as straight. I look it up online often and apparently these are common symptoms of HOCD. I lose sleep and cannot pay attention in school because I am constantly thinking about this. I only have one specific fantasy that I use for guys. I am very submissive to them and they force me to blow them. It turns me on because I get turned on by stronger girls and apparently even guys beating me up. I also feel ashamed of these fantasies because it makes me feel weak and unmanly that I did these things. I look at my future and cannot see myself marrying now because of being ashamed about this. I have lost direction in life because I feel like no matter what I do in life, this will always be in the back of my mind. I am becoming depressed in a way (but not suicidal) from this.
Please give any advice because I do not know what else to do.