How Do You Guys Do It?

Submitted by Albatross98 on
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I relapsed again today after only 4 days, and I can't seem to break through that 1 week benchmark. This is in stark contrast to some bloggers here who have held out for over 100 days, one even claimed something like 260+ days. How do you manage to control yourself for that long?

My advice: distraction

Well, actually it can be very different for different people. For me, the first couple of weeks were the easiest, then it got tough.

If for you the first week is the most difficult, I would suggest starting your PMO abstinence when you are distracted by something else, maybe by going on vacation (traveling), studying for exams or just anything that takes your focus away from porn.

lessons from day 80, first reboot

Focus on doing things to actively get over yourself fixed/healthy. You're not going to be able to sit and wait for the problem to go away. Exercise, healthy diet, kegels, meditation- make yourself so busy working on the problem that suddenly you wake up and you're a lot of days into it. You should be systematic about it. You're not going to be able to "feel" your way through it because your unbalanced brain is making you feel all jacked up right now. Create a system that you can execute and that allows you to measure your progress. What you're doing should be repeatable and measurable for someone else.

Also, mentality has a lot to do with it. You need to really internalize that every time you do the deed, you're hurting yourself and losing time that you have on this earth to have a normal, healthy sexual life which is so central to being a human. I'm not sure what your history is, but failing to perform with a girl is strong motivation. In my experience with this and other things, once you've have had enough pain, you'll stop doing what hurts you. That's not to knock your efforts thus far- this thing is a bear for sure. But you're in control when you choose to be. Good luck, man.

I started my PMO abstinence

I started my PMO abstinence in late November, a time when I'm extremely busy (I'm a graduate student, so this was the end of the semester). No surprise, I relapsed for about three weeks (with MO, not with porn) when school was done, because I literally had nothing to do. Now that school's back up again, I've gone three weeks without porn, masturbation, or orgasm and I'm doing just fine. I've just got way too much stuff to do, and by the end of the day I'm too tired for porn.

Exercise also helps. It requires discipline, and so if you can discipline yourself enough for a little exercise, that will help give you the discipline and self-control needed to abstain from PMO. It's a mental thing much more so than a physical thing.