How to leave masturbation

Submitted by rahul_kr on
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m a 26 year old guy habitual to masturbation. I tried lots of things but not able to give up this addictive thing. I become thin and thin ....lost my attractive face :( ...plz tell me how to stop this most addictive thing.

Sorry you're struggling

Your addiction might actually be to today's porn, not masturbation. See Porn Then and Now: Welcome to Brain Training | Psychology Today

Any of these forums would have good support from lots of other guys struggling with the same issues:

YOURBRAINREBALANCED.COM

NoFap.in

r/Pornfree

REDDIT.NoFap

Everything we've learned from the men recovering is collected here: www.yourbrainonporn.com You might start with this video. It's not just for teens: Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn - YouTube

Good luck!

 

some issues

I don't do this on daily basis but the thing when the weekend come, i feel some load and pressure inside...i feel guilty :( .........After 2-3 days of masturbation, i feel no porn no sex but after that during night time, i fantasies and it comes naturally......how i overcome this

thanks

Hi Marnia,

Thanks for ur positive responses.....i had never been in such determined position ........i have to revive so that nobody makes fun of me.......

its goood

its about 7 days....no masturbation......but at nights ...i dreams some erotic scenes......then full day...i feels horny.....can I control this......also I feels nervous....low confidence

It will get easier

The first 2-3 weeks are the toughest: I quit using porn and now I feel worse. Is this normal? The weird dreams will settle down with time. Try not to pay much attention to them. Your brain is just trying to get its jollies by the most familiar path (as you carefully trained it to do Wink ).

In fact, guys report reductions in anxiety and improvements in confidence for more than a year.

See if you can do something that feels good from this list: More Feel-Good Activities

I found it easy to quit masturbation and I'm not sure why

I think it was because I went from masturbation and porn to spending oodles of time with bonding behaviors with my wife, and Karezza. 

I truly believe that made it very easy for me.

My recommendation is always that if you are fortunate enough to be in a relationship you do a lot of cuddling, hand holding, eye gazing, kissing...and if you can, avoid orgasm...have a lot of intercourse but without orgasm...if you can't do that, then just go for a lot of intercourse and postpone your ejaculation.

This is what makes it easier to quit masturbation. And I think it's because it builds up Oxytocin. And Oxytocin makes everything really wonderful...

How far did you get?

You realize it's not unusual to need a number of tries to get your brain to go in a new direction, right?

Are you exercising? Socializing? Flirting? You have to feed your brain the natural rewards it evolved to chase if you're going to take away its favorite toy of the moment (Internet porn).

What will you do differently next time you're alone in the room? What can you do to avoid being alone in the room?

Try the flirting

I predict you'll be amazed.

You could set your computer to stay off line for a set period when you're alone. There are apps for that. One is called 'Self control'

Lost and Confused

I thought i found the "one", yes she is married, but swore she would get divorced, for herself, her kids, and me. So i thought i would wait, but there has been no response, my financial picture is gloomy, and she needs to be safe financially for her kids. I get that, but the fact that she has just stopped communicating with me after telling her husband she wants the divorce, and now has no time for me. Am i missing something, or just love blind and stupid. We have a lot of history, mega years, but now......i'm lost.....and feel "unfaithful" for wanting to be in a relationship, i miss her terribly but do not have the courage to contact her just to be rejected, so i hope........totally lost..........need feedback

I'm sorry

When someone has kids, they generally make them their priority. This is good for the next generation, but can be hard on lovers.

Don't doubt her love...but perhaps get on with your life. If you want to feel "clean" about it, tell her you understand why she may have done what she has done and that you feel you should move on even though you will always care for her and treasure your connection.

What are your other goals? What can you do to more toward them?

thanks for your reply

i have begun back into the business i was in and had lost many years ago, it is still a passion and the only way i see of having independence financially in the future, my other work is my kids and being there more for them though they have all grown and are secure, they still are my heartfelt joy. I am working though other sites for sobriety and see the benefit of sexual sobriety as never before experienced and am liking the confidence and power i am getting from developing self control, but i long for that relationship too strongly and still believe it will be, but this is giving me that opportunity to wok on myself, just not sure of the direction to take so i will focus more on becoming happy with myself, and trust that it is god's direction for my life.....BUT I WANT THAT WOMAN .........UGH......LOL.

I'm sorry you're hurting

Time helps. So does dating others. It seems the oxytocin produced during affectionate touch and close companionship literally helps erase past attachments to a degree. Read The Brain That Changes Itself by Doidge. Fascinating and inspiring...for lots of aspects of life.

Good luck with the new/old business!

Again

Hi,

Back again to this most helping site......in between i was in trap of masturbation but i after that m out of it now for 18 days...but the problem is ....when i wake up early in the morning ..i fantasies loving girl.....due to this erection comes and i feels weak ....

Another problem is....i have been chatting with a girl on fb,,,now this girl wants to meet ...but i make some excuses...because i feels low confidence over my health...plz suggest me what i do...i m struggling in terms of physical and emotional means

Meet with her

Just keep it light and friendly and tell her you want to take things slowly. Do not rush into sex. Give yourself time to get to know each other. Your body will tell you when it's ready. Never try to force sexual performance. Avoid porn!

In the morning...get out of bed as soon as you wake up. Lying there fantasizing only makes the cravings worse.

Let us know how it goes with the girl!

reason

m thin.....my attractive face has gone....want to build myself....so dat I can withstand by her....she is beautiful.

That makes no sense

Being WITH her will increase your sparkle and attractiveness.

Have you ever considered the possibility that you've just watched too much porn and are too focused on looks...both hers and yours?

You will never win her with that attitude

I understand where you're coming from; I've been there. But you need to recognize this for the slippery slope that it is. The problem isn't your looks; it's how you feel about yourself - your looks are just a stand-in for your overall self-esteem. If you approach her, or any pretty girl with the belief that you aren't good enough, then she will know it, and she will believe it too.

Ultimately, this comes down to control. You are trying to control her response to you. That's a form of manipulation which never works (and it's not nice). Trust me, if you buffed up to the max, you're still going to be operating on this spectrum of self-centeredness (i.e. what does she think of me). Forget about all that. Just focus on her and how amazing she is. Just be yourself, be honest and forthcoming with your feelings. That alone will be refreshing, and will set you apart from the other guys. If she's worth your time, then that's what she will value anyway. But most of all, don't wait; that only wastes valuable time (which she might be spending courting someone else). If you want to "get buff", then do that too, but do it for the right reasons (i.e. health benefits).

Good luck!

thanks

i'll be meeting her......n let it go.....m ready for her.....thanks for ur support....n increasing positive attitude in mee....:-).....i will continously...improve myself......