I have went cold turkey on porn and masturbating, I also know I'm not gay.
But... these intrusive thoughts, the ones I mentioned before, the ones I said were caused by porn?
I know it'd be better to just let them pass, but that's the thing, they don't pass... they give me headaches on top of some of the other things that come from this porn induced OCD. To be honest, I'd just rather avoid the headaches and intrusive thoughts if possible.
It's gotten so bad that I'm afraid to look at guys, because I fear I'll get intrusive thoughts, and/or get attracted to them.
My new worry seems to be asexual in nature, as in, I think "What if I'm asexual and that's the reason why I'm not aroused by guys?" Which leads too "What If I'm homoromantic and just not into sex?"
The intrusive thoughts also come in other forms. I'll try to fantasize about women, but most of the time it just puts my mind into a frenzy, and it's just like the word "guy" is stuck in my mind. I read that my brain is simply wondering why I'm numbed to normal stimuli (Like women) and then goes and looks for it's stimulation somewhere else.
"Porn numbs you to usual sexual stimuli and your brain starts wondering why and looks for it's stimulation somewhere else."