Submitted by Brothadown on
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So I've gone one month with no fap and I went to go visit my girlfriend after not seeing her in two months. When I first saw her I would get erections just looking at her. We fooled around a lot the first two days because she was on her period and I really wanted to have sex with her as I've failed to do so in the past because of my porn induced Ed. Might I add I haven't watched porn in 4 months. So when she got off her period I felt like I had no libido. I'd had a wet dream the night before and I didn't feel up for sex at all. She would try and help me get it up but I couldn't and I was so embarrassed. I've been dating this girl for more than a year now and I haven't had sex with her because of my issue. I just don't understand how I can get so many boners while she was on her period but as soon as I have a wet dream nothing. Earlier in the relationship it was performance anxiety but ever since the reboot I've noticed porn is catching up to me. Btw , I'm 17.

It's never a good idea to push things

if you don't feel "up" to it. That's my experience. It sucks to have no erection and not feel like having one, and she's trying her best to make my penis operate and it has a mind of its own and doesn't want to. That's what I call a "performance orientation" and it really is not a good idea.

When I was suffering ED issues the same thing used to happen to me. I couldn't have sex with my girl for some reason, and I'd have boners all the time. Then when I could, it would go dead. It is very common at the early stages of recovery.

So here's what I suggest. Don't masturbate. Don't use porn. As long as you can go without either one. Preferably no porn forever, and not much masturbation although that isn't always a big deal one way or another (but it is during recovery.)

So you're one WHOLE month without masturbation -- that is FANTASTIC as a feat for a 17 year old. Really amazing, congratulations. Well, you know how it is, the flatline phase, I'm sure you've read about it. And there is also the element of wiring the brain to what a real woman smells tastes and performs like. That is something you are just figuring out, no matter how much porn you've used, this is altogether different and the brain needs to get new pathways laid down for this.

So give yourself a LOT of slack and be patient. I would try to AVOID intercourse for awhile. Just do non orgasmic stuff, cuddling, sexual touch, give her oral, non sexual touch. You'll at some point have lots of erections and just let them come and go. At some point it will be natural to slide into her and you're having sex. No big deal. But that should come LATER.