It is my aim to be a more amorous, sexy and romantic man - is Karezza the right technique for me?

Submitted by Tian2rayn on
Printer-friendly version

It is my goal to give as much pleasure to a woman as possible. I'm at that age now where i'm not looking for any long-term relationship, more experience-building shorter ones.

I have got 2 books on the subject of giving women 'maximum pleasure'. And both go about it in totally different ways. One book is called 'the multi-orgasmic man' by Mantak Chia, and the other is 'Cupid's Poisoned Arrow', by Marnia Robinson. The reasons I am looking at these books are that they are both methods which prevent ejaculation; which gives me a terrible hangover!

It's quite a difficult choice to make. While orgasm for women contains many hormones and chemicals which causes a woman to supposedly be more attracted and closer to you after orgasm, there's also a hangover involved.
Another problem is that Mantak Chia's methods for preventing ejaculation seem very unnatural and stressful on the prostate. The methods of holding in the semen and pressing the perineum don't seem healthy to me.

While I haven't read Marnia's book yet, I've always had the impression from Reuniting that Karezza is something for married/long-term, understanding couples only. I thought that Karezza involved a boring 'getting used to your partner' timescale, and that the first times were inevitably a bit tedious. (From what I saw on some of the blogs about Karezza, it's more of an awkward learning experience for a married couple than a sexual technique employed by a young man to satisfy and pleasure his new lady). If a young woman had sex with me, and I just lay there, I can only suppose she'll think i'm terrible at sex!

So, I'm looking for a technique that does not involve ejaculation (and hence no or little hangover), but will also gives the new girl I fancy the best pleasure she's ever had so she'll be back for more Wink And i'm not sure which path to take. I know Mantak Chia's advice would be totally ideal for giving my girl the night of her life, but it doesn't seem right nor healthy by pressing various places I shouldn't.
Marnia's book and reuniting look great. But i'm not sure if it's for me. The focus of Karezza seems to be reigniting the passion in a dry marriage, not taking a beautiful girl home with you to please her.

What should I do? I don't suppose there's any compromise involved that allows me give the girl breathtaking passionate sex, make her bond closer to me without orgasm/hangover, yet will still be healthy and relaxing for me?

Thanks for reading :)

a question and a suggestion

Nice to have you here again.

There are posts here from people doing Karezza who are quite young (just a bit older than you.)

But to answer your question, I suggest you read Stanley Bass, Better Than Orgasm, Energy Karezza.

Dr. Bass is kind of amazing. He describes a type of Karezza which I am practicing at the moment. It is as you describe. The man doesn't ejaculate and the woman can have the space and time to do what she pleases. Most women never get this opportunity because most sex is so unconscious and male-centered. It starts with his erection and ends with his ejaculation. There may be some oral warmup but it's not really all that great for the woman.

So if your aim is to be a man who can really please a woman sexually, Dr. Bass's book explains it all.

The Mantak Chia book might be helpful to prepare yourself through a bit of practicing "solo cultivation". I find some of the exercises valuable.

And Marnia's book is fabulous as it outlines the case for not having frequent orgasms.

Also not on your list are the Diana Richardson books which are all *really* good. But for what you are trying to do, I think Dr. Bass's book is spot on.

And just a note but an important one. I find that by focusing more on myself, I can please my woman better. And if I focus on her, it doesn't work out so well. It's a paradox but the fact is you can be a much better partner and person by focusing on yourself.

Tian2rayn wrote:

[quote=Tian2rayn] If a young woman had sex with me, and I just lay there, I can only suppose she'll think i'm terrible at sex![/quote]

Yes, that wouldn't be much fun! But that isn't what karezza is (just laying there)! There is actually a lot going on that you can't see and those are the things that make it delicious~~if a man is present and focusing on sending his energy to the woman, etc., she will feel like there is a *lot* going on.

For me, conventional sex would now feel like slipping *below* consciousness, sort of like getting drunk or watching television~~you become very desensitized and unaware of your bodily sensations. In karezza you bring your body and mind to a state of sheer consciousness and *that* is where the wonderful feelings of sex come from (not from friction of the genitals).

I hope you'll read the books Emerson suggested and do some research of your own~~good luck! Just be aware that any young man that learns to make love this way will become very, very attractive to women...so choose your partners wisely, lol.

Thank you

Thanks for everyone's replies! It's amazing how i learn something new everytime i read this website :) Those books suggested seem great. I've brought Diana Richardson's 'Tantric sex for men', and i'll try to get Dr Bass' book when i have the money >_<
I have quite a big collection of books, and i was just wondering which ones i should bin or keep, if anyone has read them before? (The ones which will help my progress with mastering Karezza vs the ones that will hinder it).

These are the books i have:

1. Taoist Secrets of Love - Cultivating Male Sexual Energy (Mantak Chia)
2. Healing with Sexual Energy (Online Article by Walter Last)
3. The Multi-Orgasmic Man (Mantak Chia)
4. The Mystery of the Golden Blossom (Samael Aun Weor)
5. Tantric Sex for Men (Diana Richardson)
6. How to Make Love All Night - and Drive a Woman Wild (Barbara Keesling)
7. Sex God Method (Daniel Rose)
8. Masterful Lover Foundations (David Shade)
9. Female Orgasm Black Book (Lee Jenkins)
10. Cupid's Poisoned Arrow (Marnia Robinson) - i'll obviously keep this one! :P

:)

I would imagine

that all have something useful. What struck me when I was working on my book was how many different traditions had similar, but slightly different, wisdom about this other approach. It became clear that there was no one "right" map. For me, what they had in common was brain chemistry balance and its effects.

Trust your intuition and feel free to pass on any of them, Cupid included. Just leave 'em on a bench somewhere. Smile

Tian

Its my experience that the feminine finds a man's presence, a relaxed present attention, to be more amorous, sexy and romantic than any particular bedroom skill. Practicing being non-orgasmic has, over the years, increased this masculine sense of "presence" more than anything else. What I have found a woman really wants is..... you.

I agree!!

Wholeheartedly. What attracts me so much to my current- and I'm hoping as *life partner- is his attention to me. Either the way that he was raised- to focus on others- or the fact that he has done some major life work to get rid of or be aware of his ego has made him very willing to care about my needs. I sometimes idealize him, which I am working on to not do... he is just as human as me, and realizing that will help me be aware of his weaknesses and needs too, which I can help him with. ..Regardless, the basic genuine caring that he gives me- the space to share my feelings verbally, express my care to him, and his willingness to help me- is what makes him very attractive to me. I am working on being as open to him as he is to me- not emotionally reacting as much to what he says so he feels he has space to express himself. .. I digress.. but the general care is what makes the attractive partner.